Fate Always Wins
by Oasys Arts
Summary: Even when I'm gone, I'll never forget your face. You're all I'll ever need in a world that I no longer belong to as well as the place I shall go. I love you.
1. Preface

**Preface**

Bella POV

I never thought that this was how I would die. I for sure thought that it would at least be in the clutches of some ravenous vampire or from something equally as dangerous. Even falling down a flight of stairs seemed like a more likely death then the one I was facing. But still, Edward was by my side, and I was grateful. Edward and I had loved each other as much as anyone could love someone. I guess we were what they would call the "story book" romance. But right now, our story book ending didn't look possible. I would miss Edward more then anything, no matter what happened to me after I went. I would always remember my beautiful angel.

* * *

Edward POV

She sat there, looking more like an angel then ever. Her eyes were starting to fade into oblivion. I couldn't let go. Not now, not after all that we'd been through. Of course fate had found a way to take her from me without me being able to interfere. Even in these last moments of her life I questioned my decision. I wanted her forever but I could never damn her to that. No, Bella belonged in heaven, to be the most glorious angel of them all. But I still knew that I was going to be going through hell for all eternity allowing her to go to heaven. It was a fair trade.


	2. Love Enduring

**Love Enduring**

Edward had been planning this date for almost a week. He said it was for "becoming a senior" and our "last big outing before school started" dinner. I rolled my eyes at him when he said it was a special event for becoming a senior. I wondered how many times he had been a senior, he probably didn't know himself.

He said he would be here at 7pm sharp; I was ready by 6:30 and waiting in the kitchen. I got jittery and couldn't help but start washing dishes, but not before I was sure to put on an apron to keep the water off my dress.

My dress was of course picked out by Alice. She had taken me shopping the day before for the event. It was black and simple, but she said that it would be perfect for the evening. It was about to my knees, and a nice soft material that I couldn't name. It was off the shoulders and had a slightly low neck line, but not as drastic as I'm sure she would have liked.

I told Edward nothing too fancy and Alice said that he was sure that I would be ok with his decision. The dress confirmed that it was nice enough for slightly nicer clothing but not fancy enough for Alice to demand to do my hair.

I was scrubbing a pot when I heard the door. I instantly dropped it and ran to the door, tripping on the way but catching myself. There stood my gorgeous God, Edward. He had a smile on that melted my heart, and for a moment I was dazed by him. He started laughing at something, and I must have put on a funny face because it made him laugh more.

"And what prêt ell are you laughing at?" I demanded with a slightly mocking voice.

He simply laughed more "You look so cute in an apron!" He laughed harder as the blush ran to my cheeks and realized I had forgotten to take off my apron in my excitement in getting to see Edward.

I took it off and looked at him; he still had a smile on, and was obviously trying not to laugh anymore. _It wasn't **that** funny_ I thought. I yelled into the living room at Charlie, saying I was leaving.

"Ok Bells, not too late ok, Edward?" He didn't sound worried, but it was probably because he was watching some sports game.

"No worries Charlie!" Edward said through his smile.

He walked to my side of the car and held the door open for me. I got in and before I could finish buckling my seat belt he was at my side. He had on that crooked smile I loved so much. He leaned in to kiss my lips then and for a moment I couldn't breathe. He pulled away and looked at me with that crooked smile again.

I sighed and looked down at my hands while he backed out of my drive way. We were almost out of Forks when I asked him where we were going. He didnt answer right away.

"Well, do you remember the first restaurant I took you to?" He asked knowing that I knew very well where he was talking about. He had no need to say that it was also the place he took me when I was attacked by those four men and the place where I first started my questioning of his vampire skills, before I even knew he was a vampire.

I nodded "So Bella Italia?" I asked. It was weird to think that I would be eating at a place with my name on it. I giggled in my head.

"Yep, is that alright with you?" He was obviously asking whether or not the memories of that evening would ruin tonight by going there. I just smiled and replied "As long as I'm with you, anywhere is fine."

He smiled at that and I smiled back. He grabbed one of my hands and kissed it.

"I love you Bella Swan." He said into my hand.

"And I love you Edward Cullen." I was smiling like a crazy person.

He grinned at that and I blushed, of course.

We were in Port Angeles in less then 20 minutes. We parked and were walking into the restaurant and I had an odd feeling of Déjà vu. Only this time I knew the God next to me was mine and happy to be with me. He also no longer made sure he wasn't touching me, he had his arm around my waist and as we were waiting behind a couple he kissed my forehead. I grinned at that. I saw the woman behind the counter seating people, and laughed. It was the same woman as before. Edward looked up to see what I was laughing at and looked at me confused.

"That's the same woman from last time. Don't you remember?" I asked surprised, vampires had the best memories.

"No, I was a little distracted that evening if you don't recall. What with saving your life, trying not to kill those monsters and of course you were the only person I noticed.

I smiled and he stepped forward to give his name to the young woman for our reservations. She had obviously remembered him because I saw how she eyed him. She went wide eyed and couldn't speak for a moment. She looked down and noted his name and pulled out two menus. Before she turned to lead us to our table she sized me up, taking in the fact that Edward and I were a couple. She made a face as if I smelled bad or something and led us to the back.

She sat us in an empty room, and it confused me.

"I wonder where everyone is. It's usually really busy this time of year." I said out loud.

The waitress was the one who answered me. She had a nasally and annoying voice that just rubbed me the wrong way. "Actually, Mr. Cullen rented out the whole room."

I looked at Edward incredulously. "Edward!" I said to him. The lady walked away then.

He just smiled and said "Well, I wanted some privacy. Besides, it's all about you tonight."

I pouted but it only made him smile more. I gave in and smiled back.

We spoke about everything that evening. We had a male waiter, thank goodness. But Edward eyed him menacingly. I wondered if he was thinking something horrible about me, but decided not to ask incase it made Edward get more upset.

We ordered, or well I ordered, and spoke until I told Edward we should get going, it was nearly 9:30 and I didn't want Charlie to worry too much. He said ok and he paid the bill. We walked to his car hand in hand speaking of music and all the places I wanted to go. I wished we could walk like this forever, but I was getting chilly and it looked like it was probably going to rain soon.

We got to his car and got in. We continued our discussion of the places I wanted to see.

"Italy, I've wanted to go there for so long! I hear it is so beautiful!" I was really enthused about this one.

He laughed "Yah it is. The hills are green and beautiful, and the buildings are just out of fairy tales. You would love it there. Maybe I could arrange for us to go in December. It's wonderful at Christmas."

Now it was my turn to laugh "Oh yah! Me going to Italy for Christmas with my boyfriend, Charlie would be absolutely thrilled!"

We talked like this till we were at Charlie's. He walked me to the door and kissed me goodnight and leaned down to my ear and whispered so that only I could hear "I'll be back soon" Then kissed my cheek.

I went inside and told Charlie goodnight. I changed out of my dress and put on my pajamas. I sat on my bed loving my life, and loving Edward. That was when I felt a cramping in my stomach. I thought it was probably from the food and ignored it. How very wrong I was.


	3. AN1

**Totally forgot about this! SORRY!**

**A/N: I do not Own Twilight. If I did then I sure as heck would not be writing fan fiction. .  
**


	4. School Starts

**A/N: I do not own twilight or any of its wonderful characters. Please do not hurt me if I do them injustice. I'm trying my best. **

**School Starts**

_That was when I felt a cramping in my stomach. I thought it was probably from the food and ignored it. How very wrong I was._

Edward was at my side a few moments later, picking me up bridal style and putting me on my bed. I still had a hard time figuring out how he could love me so much. I also couldn't understand how I went so long with out knowing him, or thinking that I was fine without anyone in my life. Edward changed a lot of things. None of them bad, all of them good things that made me a happier person. I hoped he was happier, too.

He wrapped his arms around me, my stomach hurt again and I cringed. I hoped that Edward didn't notice, but of course he did.

"Bella? What's wrong? Are you feeling ok?" He sounded a little worried.

"I'm fine Edward I think that the food just isn't agreeing with me is all. It's just a little cramping. Probably be gone in the morning. Speaking of morning, when will you be leaving for your hunting trip?" I asked to get his mind off of my stomach.

His voice was still a little worried when he answered "I'll be leaving around 5 in the morning, but I hope not to be gone too long. Hopefully be back by Sunday morning."

"Ok, what ever will I do without you?" I questioned sarcastically.

"Hopefully not put your self in turmoil by doing the laundry or walking down your stairs." He said with a grin.

"Oh I suppose I should just stay in bed all day." I said playing along.

We smiled at each other for awhile while I drifted to sleep. He kissed my forehead and whispered in my ear "Goodnight my angel, I love you and will protect you from everything." I grinned drowsily.

"My muve ohh too." I said groggily. He laughed and held me tighter. The last thing I remembered that evening was him placing his lips to my neck.

* * *

Saturday was very uneventful. I woke up when Edward left to say goodbye and to tell him I love him. I fell back asleep and stayed in bed till about 11:30. I looked outside and saw that it was actually a very nice day. It wasn't raining and every once in awhile the sun would shine through the clouds. I took the opportunity of good weather and grabbed a blanket and a book and laid out in the back yard.

I didn't even realize what I grabbed until I sat down and read the cover. _Pride and Prejudice. _One of my favorites.

I opened it and realized how much I loved the old English they used. I would try to remember to ask Edward about it when I saw him in the morning. Uh oh, that started it. I couldn't get Edward out of my head then and I realized I kept reading the same paragraph over and over again. I must have read it twenty times before giving up and turning over to lye on my back to try to absorb some Vitamin D, or at least what little of it shone through the clouds.

I thought about Edward and wondered what he was doing. I tried to imagine him hunting, his eyes turning coal black and running at insane speeds through the green forest around him. It was raining and he was drenched. He wasn't running like he ran when I was on his back, he was running in a way like a lion. He must have caught sight of his prey because he stopped and hunched his back like he was about to pounce. He was about to leap when I heard Charlie calling my name. I opened my eyes and realized that I had fallen asleep.

I sat up and picked up my book and blanket and walked in doors.

"Hey dad, how was the trip?" I asked nonchalantly.

"It was pretty good, I caught three. Billy caught seven. I swear it's like he can sense where the fish are or something." Charlie replied enthusiastically, and then said something about "Power Bait" and "Lures" and something else that I decided to drown out.

"Hey Bells, how bout we order pizza tonight? You don't need to cook." He said with a smile.

I didn't mind not having to cook, but it just left me with more time to miss Edward. Not a fun thing to do at all. But none-the-less it was what I resulted into doing. I sat on my bed trying to listen to music. I checked the clock and noticed-with sorrow- that it was only 7 o'clock. I sighed and sat up, the music wasn't helping. I decided to take a shower.

I grabbed my bag and went to the rest room. I stripped down and got in, and as I was standing under the hot water as it worked out the knots in my back, my stomach started to ache again. It came in shooting pains on my sides and under my belly button. _There must be something wrong with the food I've been eating lately. _Was the only thought I could come up with. I couldn't be pregnant because, well, Edward refused to even come close to crossing that line, and it was impossible for vampires anyways. But it was probably best that he did not and result in killing me in the process.

The pains were gone as quick as they had arrived and I got out of the shower. I brushed my hair and blow dried it. Brushed my teeth and went back to my room, the whole time thinking of Edward. I put away my toiletries and checked the clock again. 8:15. I figured I could go to bed then, even if it was still pretty early. I got under the covers and thought about Edward and me, all the time his lips were either kissing me or saying my favorite words "I love you Bella" I drifted off to a happy sleep waiting for my angel to return.

* * *

I woke up early to the face of my angel. His eyes were the brilliant topaz that I loved and his face had on the crooked smile that made my heart skip a beat. He really was my personal God.

"Good morning my love" He said in his silky voice that made me stop breathing for a moment.

"Morning" I replied, it was all that I could even think to say without slurring my words.

He laughed at the sound of my heart, and laughed even harder after when he heard how his laughter made my heart beat even faster. "Will you ever get used to me?" He asked with his beautiful grin.

"Never. I love you Edward" I said to him with a huge smile on my face.

"And I love you Bella." We sat there enjoying each others company till around 11 o'clock when he said it was time to feed the human.

"Come on Bella! You must eat; I don't want you to get sick or something." I knew he really just liked to watch me, something him and Emmett both liked to do and found amusing. I found it irritating.

"Actually Edward, my stomach kind of hurts, I don't know if I will be able to." And I wasn't lying. My stomach had started to hurt about twenty minutes before he said I should eat.

"Are you ok? Should I take you to Carlisle? Do you need something? Water, medicine, anything?" Edward asked a little too concerned like always.

"Edward, I'm fine, I've probably just been eating to much take out and stuff. Don't worry; it will probably go away soon." I eased him as I saw the worried look in his face. His worried look turned into a smile quickly though and his eyes shined down into mine. I quickly lost track of what I was thinking as I looked at him. He slowly brought his lips to mine and gently grazed them against me. I stood perfectly still, knowing all too well what my emotions made me do sometimes.

The kiss ended and I opened my eyes to his perfect smile.

"So, we have school tomorrow, and I must say, if Newton has one thought about you at all, I swear I'm going to…" I laughed at him and he stared at me. "What?"

"You're so cute when you're angry. Besides, why does it matter what Mike thinks? You have me and he doesn't, I'd say you win hands down." I replied to him with a grin.

"I guess you're right. But it still irritates me." He smiled and leaned down and gave me another kiss before picking me up bridal style and setting me down at the kitchen table. "Now please, try to eat something and then we can go to my house, ok?"

I nodded and poured my self a bowl of cereal, it was hard to swallow but I did because I wanted to get my day with Edward started. I finished the bowl and went to change. I decided on the blue v-neck shirt that Edward said he liked so much and of course a pair of jeans. I ran down stairs, I fell on the last step, but Edward was already there to grab me as I stumbled. I looked up to see his breath taking grin and beautiful topaz eyes full of love.

"What ever am I going to do with you Bella?" He asked sarcastically. His hair was falling just over his forehead, giving him that model look; it was quite awhile before I started to breathe again. I smiled at his beautiful face and thanked everything that he was mine.

"Let's go" I said once I finally got my composure and placed all of my weight back on myself. But he wasn't having that. He held me tighter and pulled my chin close to his face and slowly, and cautiously, he placed his lips to mine. I breathed in his deep scent and I felt dizzy, but I stayed completely still, determined to behave.

I had another ache in my stomach then and I reflexively winced at the pain. Edward pulled away and I saw a bit of confusion and sadness in his eyes, but he quickly saw why I had winced when he saw that I was clutching at my abdomen.

"Stomach still hurts? Poor Bella, maybe you should stay home and rest today" Edward said concerned.

"No, please Edward I want to spend the day with you and your family. I'll be fine soon probably, don't worry." I said in rushed tones, in fear that the pain would make my voice betray me.

He contemplated what he should do for a moment, but I guess he decided to take my word because he swooped me up in one of those inhumanly quick actions, and before I knew it I was sitting in his car and he was pulling out of the drive way. In less time then it seemed possible we were pulling up to his house. We parked and he was quickly at my side of the car opening the door. He reached out his hand for mine to help me out of the car and I took it openly. We walked hand in hand to his door and walked in.

Carlisle and Esme were watching the television, some ER show or something. All I know is that it involved a lot of blood and it looked pretty real. They looked up at the sound of us entering.

"Hello Bella!" called Esme from across the room.

"Hello Esme, Carlisle." I said to them, but it sounded half hearted, I just saw what they were doing on the television and realized why there was so much blood. They were cutting a woman's stomach open, something about a bullet wound and internal bleeding. I was getting sick just thinking about all the blood.

Edward noticed and pulled me up stairs to his room quickly. But when we walked in the room was not empty. Alice was sitting on Edwards couch in the middle of his room.

"Bella! Didn't expect to see you today!" she said with a wink.

"Oh, of course you didn't Alice" I added playing along. We laughed quietly for a moment.

"Bella, I know what you're going to say," Of course she did. "But, I need someone to come shopping with me this weekend in Seattle! And I think it's time to update your winter clothing." She added with a dazzling grin.

"Alice….. I… ergh… Have… or will have… uhm… homework to do! Yah! Homework!" I said in hopes that it would get me out of dressing rooms and expensive clothing.

"Oh silly Bella! No one gives homework on the first week, you know that." She said to show that I had no excuse. She smelt an easy victory and added, "What if I promise that everything you get, Edward will absolutely love on you?" She knew she had said the right thing because I just hung my head in defeat.

"Fine Alice. But please, nothing too much. I don't need all the clothes you buy me!" I knew my pleas would not help, but I had to try.

"No promises, but Edward will love everything I buy for you!" She said with a huge smile and gracefully walked out of the room. I sighed at the closing door, and looked up to see Edward grinning.

"I'm really excited to see what Alice gets you now." I blushed at his words and looked away sheepishly.

We sat down and he played some music while we talked. We sat there for one of those moments where you don't even realize how much time has passed by, and it feels very short, but you realize it's been much longer then anticipated. We spoke about random things mostly, School, family, teachers, even Mike came up once and Edward spoke about what he would do to him if he caught him looking, or thinking, longingly at me. We laughed a lot, but my stomach still hurt the whole time, although it really didn't matter as long as I got to sit with My Edward.

* * *

I woke up in the morning to my angels face smiling at me. He kissed me on the forehead and said he'd see me at school. I smiled and he was gone. I got dressed and went down stairs. I still wasn't feeling well so I decided not to eat. I knew what Edward would say if he found out I hadn't eaten my breakfast, but then again Edward couldn't read my mind so it didn't matter.

I went out to my truck as soon as I figured it would be ok for me to be at school. I drove the 2 miles to the school parking lot and parked next to Edward's Volvo, which was already here to my great enjoyment. I got out and before I could turn around from grabbing my back pack from the passenger seat, Edward was there. I jumped a little from the surprise, but he found it to be rather amusing.

"Good morning Bella" Edward said in his silky voice that made my heart skip beats.

"Good morning" I replied not really knowing what to say. He chuckled and my heart raced at the beautiful sound of his laughter.

"So what classes do you have?" I asked in hopes to get my heart back to normal speed.

"Don't know, come on lets go get our schedules." We walked to the office and picked up our schedules. I looked over mine; hour 1 was English, hour 2 was Bio 3, hour 3 was PE, hour 4 was Spanish, hour 5 was government, and hour 6 was calculus.

"We have almost all the same classes. Just 6th is different." He said with joy in his voice. "One last thing to have to worry about"

"Yah, thank goodness." I added relieved to know that Edward and I would be able to spend almost the whole day together. And we didn't even have to change our schedules! It was a great way to start a first day of school.

* * *

**A/N: So what did you think? I know, I know, you're wondering, "What the heck is going on!" Well you will find out in the next 2 chapters, PROMISE! Leave me reviews as to what I can do to make this better. Or just to let me know if I'm doing something right. I'm going to continue this whether anyone reads it or not, but its nice to know it's appreciated.**

**YAY! This was long. :**


	5. Shopping

Disclaimer: I DONT OWN TWILIGHT! But if I did... Oh you dont want to know... muahahah!

**Shopping**

My first week of school was pretty great. Edward and I had almost all our classes together, well except math because he was way ahead of me in that department. Alice Edward and I sat with my old friends, but on the very end of the table. It was like our own little area. The only thing that was wrong was that Edward would get moody sometimes because of Mike.

On the first day of school Edward and I found out that Mike had made sure that he could get into as many classes with me as possible, even if Edward was there, too. Edward was not happy about that.

"I'm going to kill NEWTON! How dare he, I'm going to ring his little neck and…" I giggled a little when I saw how mad he was, not smart on my part. "Why are you laughing?" He asked angrily.

"Oh, Edward, why are you being like this? Its not like he even stands a chance, Bella loves you more then anything! Besides, if he lays one finger on Bella I may beat you to the punch." Alice said trying to comfort Edward after his little rant on Mike. He calmed down a little, but still had tight clenched fists for the rest of the day, sneaking glances at Mike during class. His eyes would go very dark at times; I didn't even want to know what Mike was thinking.

Mike came up to me after class on Wednesday, "Hey Bella. Cullen. Uhmm, I was wondering Bella if I could speak to you for a moment, ergh, alone?" He looked a little nervous, and I really did not feel like dealing with him, but Edward had left my side quickly and when I looked at him I saw that he was grinning while he was walking over to Alice.

"So, how was your summer?" He asked like we had all the time in the world.

"It was fine Mike, what's up? I'm hungry and I want to get to the lunch room." I tried to make him see how uncomfortable I was.

"Well, I was wondering if you would want to study together sometime. I never see you anymore and I… well I think… Oh, I don't know, maybe you could give me a chance?" He wasn't looking at me, thank goodness; I composed my face before he could see how disgusted and uncomfortable I felt.

"Mike, I'm with Edward. You know that. So I'm going to have to pass on the studying and I'm not leaving Edward for anything. Sorry Mike." I hoped this was the end of the conversation and left before he could protest or say something to make the situation anymore awkward.

The week went by fairly quickly, to my dismay, and it was Friday afternoon before I knew it.

"So Bella! Are you ready to go shopping tomorrow morning? We are going to have so much fun!" Alice was very enthusiastic today; she must really be looking forward to this.

"Yah... of course Alice, just not, too much, okay?" I was hoping she would forget over the week, but obviously she didn't.

"Ok, I'll pick you up around 11 ok? Ok! I'll see you in the morning! See you at home Edward!" She walked away like a ballerina, making me feel insignificant to even be acquainted with her. I sighed when I saw her stepping into a near by forest to run home.

"Don't worry, you'll have fun. Besides, I'm still curious to see what she's going to get you into to." He said kissing my forehead and grinning.

"Oh, thanks." was all I could say.

"So what do you want to do?" He asked while leading me to his car and opened the door for me.

I waited for him to get in on the other side before answering.

"Movie? I've rented this movie called Donnie Darko. It's supposed to be really weird and really good." I really did want to see this movie. I was currently intrigued with late 80's movies.

"Ok sounds good to me. I don't know if you'll like it. It's really weird and mysterious. It will be interesting to watch your face." He stated with a smile, for some reason unknown to me, the Cullen family found my facial expressions entertaining.

He drove to my house and parked in his usual spot, then running around the car to open the door for me before I had even finished unbuckling.

"I will never get used to that" I said matter of factly.

"I sure hope not" he stated when as he pulled me from the car and pulling me to him so my hands fell limply on his chest, utterly dazzled by him. I looked into his golden eyes and lost myself in them. We stood that way for what seemed like forever until he kissed me softly on the lips and I had to remember to be good and stand still. He pulled away from our kiss and flashed me a wicked grin that almost made my heart stop all together. Edward released all of me but a hand and led me to my front door where he patiently waited for me to grab the hidden key from under the eve and unlock the door.

We walked inside and he suddenly picked me up and carried me into the living room before I even realized what was going on. He was over laying next to me, propped up on one arm and his face resting in his palm staring at me with such love that all I wanted to do was smile at him forever. He leaned over and kissed me, using his free hand to play with my hair as he kissed me. I had to stay still again though. I did not want to ruin this perfect moment. He pulled away and gave me his magical smile.

"I should put that movie in" He got up and grabbed the video off of the television and popped it in. He came and sat down with me as it started. It didn't seem so weird, what was the big deal? (A/N: This contains parts of the movie, so if you haven't seen it, and want to then, just skip down a bit!) Donnie met a girl, Gretchen, who I immediately liked because she reminded me so much of myself when I first moved to Forks. It got progressively stranger though. For one Donnie was crazy, or so everyone thought. But Gretchen didn't seem to mind. Diffidently like me. In the end Donnie goes back into time to take back meeting Gretchen because if they never met then Gretchen would not be run over. It was touching, and I actually started to cry as the movie was ending.

"Edward, I love you." He was shocked at my randomness, but smiled non-the-less.

"I love you to Bella." He kissed my forehead and whipped away my tears. "Now, your father is going to be here soon so I'm going to go home for a bit, ok? I'll be back soon." With that he picked me up off the couch and placed me on my feet to look at him. He kissed me goodbye and hugged me tight. We said goodbye, and I turned to go to my room to shower.

I came down stairs as Charlie was walking in. "Hey dad, how was work?"

"It was ok Bells, how was your day? Ready for the weekend to start?"

"Yah, hey dad, is it ok if I go with Alice shopping tomorrow morning?" I asked as he was taking his gun off his belt to hang it up.

"With Alice? I don't see why not, I was thinking about going fishing anyways."

"Ok thanks, Oh and I'm not too hungry, do you think you can fend for yourself for dinner tonight?" I still wasn't feel good, and I hadn't been eating much.

"Bells, I lived alone for 17 years, I think I can handle one night." He said with a smile.

"Ok then, I am going to head up stairs, night dad." I ran up stairs, tripping twice, and went to lie down on my bed. I turned over to reach for my stereo and put in a mix cd that I made. It was basically acoustic music. I listened to about 4 songs when I felt cold arms wrapped around me. I smiled and opened my eyes to the brilliant face of my Edward.

"I think that it's time you went to bed. You have a big day tomorrow. Oh and Alice says she's going to pick you up at 10 instead of 11. Something about more shopping time, I don't know." He was mocking me on purpose. I really was not looking forward to what tomorrow held in store for me.

I sighed and climbed under the covers. Tomorrow was not going to be a good day. I could tell already.

* * *

I Woke up the next day around 9:30 the following morning, due to Edward kindly waking me up to remind me of my doom that awaited me today.

_Ugh… shopping… just great…._

"OK, ok I'm up. I'm up!" He had been trying to get me up for about 10 minutes now while I pretended to still be asleep. But it was starting to get irritating so I decided I might as well get the day over with. I got up and grabbed my toiletries before heading to the bathroom to shower.

I took a ten minutes shower and got out. I got dressed in a pair of jeans, of course, and a blue t-shirt. I brushed my hair, but looked at the time and it was already 9:50 and I realized that I would not have time to blow dry my hair, so instead I braided it back into a single braid. I came out of the bathroom and jumped into Edwards awaiting arms.

"What time is it?" I asked Edward knowing it must be practically 10 o'clock.

"It's a minutes to 10 am and Alice has been here for about an hour now waiting outside till it was time to get you." Edward replied nonchalantly as if it was normal to allow someone to wait outside for you for an hour.

"What! She's been waiting for me for an hour? Edward, why didn't you tell me? I would have gotten ready earlier. Or at least tried to."

Edward laughed at me "Its ok, she's just excited. You know how Alice and shopping goes. Im sure she isn't mad at you at all."

I heard a knock on the door then and I knew it as Alice. _Who else would it be?_ Edward picked me up and carried me downstairs to get the door. Edward set me on the couch and opened the door. Alice bounced in looking like her usual eager self when she was forcing me to go shopping with her.

"Morning Bella! Are you ready? There's this sale going on!" Oh yah, she was diffidently way excited "Oh and goodness, Victoria's Secret is having a sale too on-"

"no, No, NO! No Victoria's Secret, anything, but, there. Ok?" She looked at Edward, and winked at him then and said to me, "As if you could stop me." She had a wicked grin on and it scared me to no level. _She wouldn't make me go in there. Would she? Oh no… Not Victoria's Secret… Oh no, no, no. _

"Pleeeaaase Alice?" I gave her my pout and she dropped her grin.

"Well, if you promise not to complain about the clothes I buy you, or the amount that they are then maybe." She smiled and I thought over her proposal. I realized it was probably the best I would get so I took it.

"Ok, but please not too much."

"Ok, lets go! See you later Edward!" She flashed him a wide grin and wink, which made him laugh. _Did they know something that I didn't? _I ran over to Edward and hugged him good-bye, and pulled away but ehe pulled me closer to him and grabbed my chin to look me straight into my eyes.

"Be careful ok? You're going to be far away and I wont be able to come save you if you fall down the escalator or something. I love you; don't get into too much trouble. Ok?" He flashed his half smile making my heart skip and causing him to widen his smile.

"Ok, I'll try not to get into trouble, and try not to cause myself mortal danger." I added once I had caught my breathe.

"Oh and how are you feeling? Does your stomach still hurt? I forgot to remind Alice about that." Edward's happy-go-lucky smile faded and was replaced with one of worry.

"I don't know, it still hurts but I don't really notice it anymore. I kind of just focus on other things. But I'm sure that I will be ok. Don't worry." I smiled to reassure him that I would be ok.

"Ok, but call me when you guys are on your way back. I want to make sure that you are ok. I love you Bella."

"I love you too Edward." With that he brought his lips to mine and we shared a small kiss before Alice came knocking on my door again yelling, "Lets go Bella!" she was whining "The sales are going on! We're so running late!" Edward and I grinned at each other at her insistence that we were running late when it could not be any later then after 10.

"Coming Alice!" With that Edward and I walked out side and he went to his car and I jumped in with Alice. I don't know how she did it, but she got Rosalie to let her borrow her BMW.

We drove in silence for most of the way. Seattle was about a 2 to 3 hour drive with a normal person. It took 30 minutes for Alice and Rosalie's BMW. We pulled into the parking structure and the next thing I knew I was in a dressing room trying on 100 pairs of jeans. Literally. I really hoped that one of them looked good on me, that way Alice would not actually attempt to buy them ALL for me. Uh, oh, 10 down, only one didn't fit quite right, and even then they looked good. _Damn it all!_ I tried on about 10 more till I told Alice enough. There was NO WAY I could try on ONE HUNDRED PAIRS OF JEANS. I mean seriously, who does that? She pouted for a bit until she said that she was going to buy all 20 of the jeans I tried on then for me and told me that I could protest or else we would be going in to THAT store.

_Grrr. _

We went to about 4 more stores when I doubled over in pain. My stomach was really bothering me lately, but this was nothing like usual. This was bad, and it didn't leave. I stood there in the dressing room for about 10 minutes on my back looking up at the ceiling trying to concentrate on anything other then my stomach. It was so horrible. I finally gave in and called Alice.

"Bella! What's wrong? Is that shirt too small? What are-" she saw me then "Bella, what's wrong? Why are you on the floor? Did you fall?"

"No Alice, it's my stomach. I think that I should get home." But just then Alice's eyes had frozen and she wasn't moving. But when she did it was clear that something was wrong.

"Bella we need to get you to Carlisle right away." She grabbed me then, leaving all the clothes behind that I had tried on. _Wow this must be bad if she isn't trying to buy me things. _

She rushed me to the car, trying not to break out at vampire speed to the car.

"Alice, what's wrong? Why do I need to go to Carlisle?"

She looked really worried and was hesitating to answer my question. Once we were outside Seattle she decided to answer my question.

"Bella, there's something wrong with you. I saw... I saw you in the hospital, you looked really, really sick. I don't know with what though. But I do know that we need to get you to Carlisle so we can stop this from happening."

"Oh…" was all I could say. What are you supposed to say to someone telling you that they just had a vision that you were dying in the hospital?

We got to Forks and pulled up to the Cullen's house. Edward was there before I could even get my seat belt off. Him and Alice looked at each other for a moment and Edward saw the vision.

"I'll take her." He picked me up and carried me indoors bridal style and ran me to Carlisle's office. He entered without knocking. He set me down and Edward told Carlisle about the vision. He suddenly looked worried.

"We need to take her to the hospital. We better run some tests."

With that we were gone again. It was only 12:30 yet it had felt like an eternity the way things were going.

Unfortunately it was only the beginning.

Im sorry it took so long to update. Its finals week at school and I've had to read like a crazy person. grrr. But I have a week long break week after next so I should update quite a bit then. :) Hope you liked it! REVIEW PLEEASE!


	6. Testing

**Disclaimer: I dont own Twilight. pouts Hope you like it! **

**Testing**

Carlisle drove Edward Alice and me to the hospital. Edward sat in the back with me; all awhile Alice kept her worried gaze upon me. I had no idea what was going on but obviously no one had the answers.

"What do you think is wrong Carlisle?" Edward asked obviously to break the silence.

"I don't know Edward, but I'd rather wait to get some test results before making any assumptions." Carlisle said, but his answer left little open for discussion on any matter and we slipped back into silence. Two minutes later we were inside the hospital and Carlisle was getting ready to draw some blood.

"Edward, maybe you should go" I knew what my blood did to him and it wasn't fair for me to dangle it in front of him like this.

"No Bella, I want to be here for you." He replied with a breath taking smile playing on his lips, but it did not touch his eyes.

Carlisle looked at Edward, and I knew that he was telling him something with his mind, but Edward looked stern and just shook his head.

Carlisle took the needle; I cringed of course, _ick, needles, _and stuck it in my arm He took about 3 vials full, but I don't know. I tried not to look. Edward held my hand the whole time and I'm pretty sure that he had his eyes closed for most of it, too. But I was glad that he stayed, it made me less worried knowing that no matter what he would stay by my side.

After that Carlisle took us all down to his office- blood in hand- and he handed me a cup. _Oh God. He wants me to pee in a cup. Be professional. He's just trying to figure out what's wrong. _I took a deep breath and took the cup from him and walked to the adjoined restroom.

I came out and handed my 'urine' to Carlisle who took it and left the room. Edward Alice and I sat there in silence. Me in Edwards lap and Alice in Carlisle's seat behind the desk, it felt like an eternity until Carlisle came back in. He told me that they hadn't found anything abnormal in my blood and my urine looked ok, too.

"Bella I did notice that your sugar levels are low though. When was the last time you ate?"

I shrugged, to tell the truth I really didn't remember that last time that I ate something.

"I don't know a day or two?" Carlisle wrote it down on a piece of paper.

"Can you tell what you've been feeling lately? Vomiting, diarrhea, coughing?" He asked in a very doctoral tone.

"Well my stomach has been really painful. Today when we were trying on clothes my stomach hurt the worst it's ever been, that was when Alice had her vision." Carlisle added my 'stomach pains' to my apparent symptoms.

"Where does it hurt exactly?"

"Right here, above my belly button." I rubbed the part where it hurt and he came over to me. He lifted my shirt up to where he could feel my stomach. He pushed where I had said it hurt and when he did it felt very tender.

"Hmm. Is lack of appetite causing your lack of eating?"

"Yah, food just makes me... ugh." I said with a shudder.

"Ok, here's what we're going to do, Bella, I need you to call your father and ask him to come down here. We're going to need him to sign some papers. Until then we are going to get you a bed in a ward down the hall. I need to speak with your father as soon as he gets here ok? I think we are going to need to do an Endoscope Procedure. Edward will explain to you what that is once we get you settled down the hall." He must have seen that I was about to ask "Alice, go back to Bella's house and get her some clothes and other essentials that she will need."

_Am I going to be here awhile? I must be if Alice has to go get me 'essentials' and clothes._

* * *

I did what Carlisle told me to do; I called Charlie and told him I was in the hospital and that he needed to come as soon as possible. I didn't tell him about the "procedure" or that he would need to sign papers. I figured that Carlisle could explain everything when he got here. He obviously knew more about what was going on then I did. 

I was now sitting in my bed waiting for the nurse to leave so I could ask Edward about the procedure that was supposed to take place, plus she was currently sticking an IV in me, not pleasant.

She eventually left, not before looking my Edward up and down of course, but I was used to it by now.

"So, what is this 'Endoscope Procedure'?" I asked once she had closed the door.

He sighed and looked at our hands that were tied together so perfectly.

"A doctor, well Carlisle, puts a thin, flexible, lighted tube called an endoscope down your throat. It allows the doctor to view the lining of your esophagus, stomach, and first part of the small intestine." It looked there was something he wasn't telling me. But right then it didn't matter.

"Edward, hand me that trash can please."

"Why love?" He asked curiously.

"Because I don't think you want me to throw up on you." He quickly had the basket in front of me and it just barely made it there as my vomit came spewing. As I finished vomiting I looked at the waste basket. It was vomit, of course, but there was something especially bad about this vomit.

There was _blood_ in it. I looked up at Edward and saw his expression. He looked like his normal worried self, until he saw my expression of horror. He looked at the waste basket and soon his face matched mine.

_What was going on? What did this mean? Oh Edward! What have I done this time?_

A/N: I know. I know. It's short. But it's just a filler to get everything up to speed. I'm thinking that I will be updating again fairly soon, ether this evening or tomorrow morning. I hope you guys are enjoying it!

REVIEW!


	7. Results

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Twilight. If I did then I would feel perty darn gangster. **

**(PS:I dedicate this post to NelsonOut. Karen I love you She got me into Twilight and she is my best Buddy!)**

**Results**

**(Finally Edward POV!)**

I was really worried for Bella. Especially since Carlisle said that they we were going to have to do an endoscope procedure. But I decided to follow in Carlisle's steps and not make any conclusions until we knew for sure.

I was sitting on the edge of Bella bed in the emergency ward and I holding her hand as I explained the procedures for the procedure.

"A doctor, well Carlisle, puts a thin, flexible, lighted tube called an endoscope down your throat. It allows the doctor to view the lining of your esophagus, stomach, and first part of the small intestine." I tried to explain it to her in the simplest way possible for her to understand.

Bella's face became shallow then and her skin tone dropped a few shades. I looked at her worriedly.

"Edward, hand me that trash can please."

"Why love?" She didn't sound urgent so I thought it was ok to ask, plus I was curious.

"Because I don't think that you want me to throw up on you." I quickly grabbed the wastebasket and placed it under her chin so she could lean over and throw up into it.

She looked up at me once she was finished and if it was possible she was nearly as pale as me. My worried expression soon fell to sheer horror. She looked at the wastebasket again and I looked too to see what she was so afraid of. There in the mixture of her vomit was blood. It was clear that's what it was. We looked back up at each other and after a few moments of just staring at each other Bella started to get tears in her eyes.

_No my angel! Do not cry I'm here love. I'm here._

"Edward, what's going on?" Her tears were falling loosely now. I quickly lay next to her and pressed her close to me and let her cry into my chest.

"I don't know love. But I have to go talk to Carlisle. I will be right back, I promise." Her face said that she was not ok with this, but her eyes knew that I had to go tell Carlisle so that we could figure out what was wrong sooner. She nodded then and I kissed her tenderly on the lips.

"I love you Bella."

"I love you, too."

I got up and ran at a human pace down to Carlisle's office; I knocked but didn't wait for him to say I could come in. I walked through and noted that Charlie was here and was about to sign something. _At least we will soon know for sure if…_

"Carlisle, Bella just threw up…_blood_." I said quickly, almost too quickly.

Carlisle's face showed that of recognition "When?"

"Just now. I should get back to her, she is really scared." I hung my head at how little I could do for her. I couldn't make her feel any better, I couldn't take the pain away, she was scared and I could do nothing to make her relax. The woman I love is in trouble and I can't do anything to help her.

"Ok, we're going to have to prep her for the procedure. I just filled Charlie in on what we are doing and he is signing the consent for right now." _I really hope this isn't what I think it is Edward._

I nodded in understanding. I left the room and went down to the Emergency ward to tell Bella what was going on. She smiled at me with only love as I walked towards her. I leaned down and kissed he forehead while sitting on the edge of her bed again. I took her hand in mine and looked at her with a smile to hopefully reassure her that she would be ok.

"Bella, your father is here, he just signed the consent form for you to do the procedure. They are going to prep you for it now, they have to put you to sleep though but I promise you will be ok." Just then Charlie and Carlisle came into the room. Charlie went to Bella's other side and grabbed her other hand and had the same worried expression that Esme got when she thought something happened to Emmett once when we were hunting, the worried parent look.

"Bella," Charlie began "how are you feeling? Do you need anything?" Carlisle put his hand on Charlie's shoulder then.

"Don't worry Charlie, everything will go ok, there really is no risk to this procedure. Bella will be perfectly safe in my hands." He flashed Charlie a reassuring smile, which helped me, too. What ever was wrong with Bella then Carlisle would find it. He was the best doctor I knew.

"Ok then," He said to clear the room I guess "We should get you prepped for surgery." _Edward, take Charlie out to the waiting room. Don't worry I'll take care of Bella. This should take about 45 minutes to prep and get the procedure done. _"Charlie, Edward will take you to the waiting room and I will come see you once we are done." With that Charlie started to talk to Bella about what was going to happen.

"This way Charlie." I kissed Bella on the top of her head and gave her, her favorite crooked smile and watched as her eyes glazed over and saw her smile. I mouthed 'I love you' to her and left the room with Charlie close behind.

We sat in the middle of the room in silence. Charlie tried to break the silence once or twice, but it didn't work. Instead we sat there for the 48 minutes and 32 seconds in silence. But finally Carlisle came out of through the Emergency room doors.

Edward… 

No, this wasn't good. I've seen that face before. That was the face he gave patients when they… when they…. _No! _

"Charlie… Edward… I'm afraid that when we did the Endoscope we found something. We started in the esophagus and went into the stomach. That's where we first found it. I'm sorry Charlie, but its looks like your daughter is suffering from a very extensive form of stomach cancer. This is normal treatable, but in this case we went further down into the stomach and saw that it was deeply imbedded through the stomach tissue and looks as if it has spread to the surrounding organs. We are willing to due an exploratory surgery to get a full view of what we are looking at, but right now, things aren't looking good. We got a biopsy of the cancer and I'm have a few nurses looking at it right now." Carlisle's words were droning on now. It didn't matter. "I don't know what we can do for her. She should be walking up in about 2 hours. You can go see her now if you wish."

With that I shot from the room, almost too fast but I didn't care. I had to get to her. Even if she was asleep, I couldn't let her be alone anymore. Any moment away from her was too much. Time was precious now; her time was all that mattered. I got to her side and held her close. I was sobbing dry tears by now. I didn't care if her father was there or not. I could not let her go now, I sobbed into her shoulder. I kissed her forehead. I stared at her face, my love.

"Edward" Charlie was talking to me but I didn't care, it didn't matter there was no way anyone could get me away from my love. "Edward, I'm going to go head back to the office. Will you call me when she wakes up please?" I looked up at him and nodded. I was wondering why he wasn't staying so I peeked into his mind; _He needs sometime alone, this is going to be hard on everyone. I should go call Renee. There's so much to do. Bella, Bella, Bella, what have you gotten yourself into this time. At least she loved, Edward is a good man. _I stopped listening then. His thoughts made me realize just how much of an impact Bella and I had on each other. Our love was something that could not be broken. I looked at her face again and realized I had to be strong. Somehow I was going to keep her alive, I had to go see Carlisle.

Reluctantly I pulled away from her side and kissed her lightly on the lips. I ran to Carlisle, it seemed like I had been running everywhere today, and what happened to Alice? I needed to know if we would get through this, _Where is everyone!_ I wanted to shout through the halls. I finally found Carlisle in front of the hospital talking to the receptionist about setting up a time for Bella's surgery.

"Carlisle, how can this happen? She's only 17! She perfect, she's only started having symptoms 2 weeks ago! How did we not know that this was going to happen? How did it spread so much without her knowing? What do I do? What can you do? How do we let her live? Carlisle you have to help me." I was speaking much to fast; I was surprised he even understood anything that I was saying. I was going on and on.

"Edward, I don't know what we can do. It looks like it has spread to her liver and through her small intestines and is attacking almost all of her stomach's lymph nodes. We will finish the Biopsy and do the exploratory surgery. Until then we can only hope that it is treatable. Maybe Chemo or perhaps we win do surgery to remove some of it. But either way he next few months are going to be hard on her and you. You may want to rethink your decision about changing her Edward. I know you two love each other more then anything and I know that you will love no one else the way you love her, and you will not be able to handle it when- "

"Please Carlisle," I had to cut him off. It was getting to be too much "We need to do something. I cant live without her. But I will not change her."

"You knew that if you didn't change her that she would die someday, why are you fighting nature if you will not change her. What did you expect?" This was Emmett, and here came the whole family. Not something that I needed right now. They were going to talk me into changing Bella. I didn't want to damn her to that though. Couldn't they see that? I loved her too much to want that life for her.

"No Emmett, she isn't supposed to die like this. She is supposed to die in her warm bed when she's old and has grand children and has lived her life, not now when she is 17 and just figuring out who she is. Bella deserves more then that. You don't understand Emmett. Bella is the best person I have ever met." I didn't realize it but I had sunk to my knees. Alice was next to me in seconds helping me up.

"It's ok Edward. I understand, come on, I'll take you back to her room." She walked with me all the way down the hall, while the family stayed behind to talk to Carlisle.

"Thanks Alice, I need to know if she will make it through this Alice, have you seen anything? Can you see anything?"

Her head hung in sorrow then and looked at her feet as she spoke, "No Edward, I haven't seen anything, I keep trying but nothing comes, I just keep seeing her in that bed with you holding her and her smiling even though she is… sick… and yet she is still happy to be with you. It's all I see now." She was sobbing now and I was on the verge of it, so I grabbed her shoulders and brought her to my chest, we sobbed together in silence for a while. Bella was after all Alice's best friend they were like sisters. She loved her just as I did, not nearly in the same way but she loved her nonetheless.

"It's ok Alice, we'll figure something out. I know we will." I was reassuring myself as much as I was reassuring her.

And with that Bella awoke. Groggily but her eyes were open and immediately I as by her side kissing her forehead and holding her close to me.

"Edward, Alice, what's wrong? Alice, why do you look so sad. Oh no Edward, is it that bad?"

A/N: Im sorry if it's cliffy, but now you know what wrong. Im really trying to make this as little of a cliche as possible. I hope you guys liked it. Im sorry if it's boring or short at some places.

Review!!!


	8. Telling Bella

**Telling Bella**

**(Bella POV)**

I looked into the eyes of the man that I loved and saw an anguish that I had never seen before. I was so confused and then I was so worried.

"We are still waiting for some more test results love." He said and his face looked as though he was passive but his eyes gave him away. He took his hand and gently stroked my hair with it. He kissed my forehead and closed his eyes and I reveled in his scent. It calmed me and I let the questioning go.

"How are you feeling Bella?" Alice asked me eagerly while taking a few steps to my other side and holding my free hand.

"I'm feeling ok. Really tired though, and very confused. Where's Charlie? How did the procedure go?" I started in on my interrogation again now that I didn't have Edwards scent overpowering my senses anymore.

"Charlie will be here shortly, he went back to the office to take care of some things. And I think that the only person that can really tell you what is going on is Carlisle. I'll go get him and call Charlie." I could tell that she wanted to get out of the room for reasons I didn't know. But I was sure I would soon enough. She kissed my cheeks and glided from my side and out the door. I looked over at Edward to see that same face that he had on before, passive but his eyes showing sorrow. He knew something I didn't, and I was afraid of what he may know.

"Its bad isn't it Edward?" I blurted out without really thinking.

He just looked at me, strong willed to make his self-look more compelled to smile then break down and start sobbing.

"How ever bad it is we will get through it. No matter what, I love you." His voice was so sure that I believed every word. He got under my covers with me and held me close. He kissed my forehead and my nose while humming my lullaby.

"Sleep Bella. You need to get better." He tried to sooth me into unconsciousness.

"No Edward, I don't want to sleep. I want to stay awake with you. Besides, Alice will be bringing Carlisle and Charlie in soon. I want my questions answered." I looked at his eyes and saw that I had won, which was a surprise. He's usually much more stubborn.

He continued to sing my lullaby and soon he had closed his eyes and was rubbing his nose against my neck. I closed my eyes but was not tired in the least. With Edward so close and him touching me the way he was, I don't think I could have slept if I had taken five sleeping pills.

After awhile Carlisle and Charlie came in flanked by all of the Cullens, each with worry on there beautiful faces. Obviously they all knew something that I didn't, but I didn't have to wonder much longer.

"Bella, has Edward told you anything about what we found?" Carlisle asked me as he walked across the room and took my hand. Charlie came to the foot of my bed looking three shades paler then his usual self, the rest of the Cullens surrounding the bed. Alice was right behind where Edward now stood, with Jasper's arm around her waist. Esme was beside Charlie and her usually very kind caring warm face was some how very sad and worried. Emmett stood to the other side of Charlie holding Rosalie's hand. Not to my shock, Rosalie was the only person who looked like usual. All she did was glare at me, but I was used to it by now and thought nothing of it.

"No, Edward hasn't told me anything. What is going on Carlisle? What is wrong with me?" I realized that as I was speaking my voice was getting more and more strained. I looked at my hands and realized that I had been shaking. I had no idea what was going on. "Carlisle, why am I shaking?"

"It's the pain medication you are under." He sighed then and paused obviously to figure out what to say next. "We did the procedure, and what we found was not good." He looked towards Edward and looked down at his feet and ran a hand through his blond hair. "Bella, I'm afraid that you have a severe case of stomach cancer. It has spread to you kidneys and is attacking the lymph nodes of your stomach lining. We still need to do some more tests but we think that the cancer may have spread even farther then that." He said all this very quickly; it was very hard for me to keep up with everything he was saying.

I sat there for a moment just staring at everyone's faces. Carlisle looked worried that I would feint probably. Everyone else held that same worried expression as they had when they walked in. It took awhile for it all to set in. But I knew that Edward would not let anything happen to me. I then looked at Edward, and stared into his eyes. I could tell that he was here with me to fight this, and it made me stronger. It was easier then I thought it would be for me to accept what was happening. But I did and I knew that I had to get through this; for me, for Edward, for Charlie, for everyone that depended on me.

"Ok, what are our options?" I asked Carlisle in a cool tone, never taking my eyes away from Edward. He suddenly tightened on my hand letting me know how much he was there for me.

"We wont know for sure until after we finish the biopsy that we took from your stomach lining. It will let us know how dominant the cancer is and what we can do to stop it. But Bella," Carlisle looked weary as to what he would say next, "Things don't look good."

"Well, we will get through this, I know it." I said this mostly to Edward and smiled.

Right now things stood as follows:

I knew what was wrong with me, I had cancer, and things didn't look good.

And Edward, my beautiful Edward, would be with me the whole time; we would fight this together.

* * *

A/N: So.. what do you think? I havent updated in awhile but this week I will be. Let me know what you think. The more reviews I get the more I want to write.

PS. I love Edward... Yay.


	9. Remembering

**Disclaimer: ok... we've all read this before. I dont own Twilight or ANY of it's characters. because if did then I would be rich and probably better good looking. **

**Remembering**

**(EPOV)**

I was amazed at how coolly she took the information. But then again that is Bella, it was still unsettling though.

When she looked onto my eyes as we told her, I knew that I had to do everything in my power to keep Bella healthy and well. Her eyes told me how much she trusted me and how much love we held for each other.

There was no way I was going to let Bella die.

**(BPOV)**

I was staring very intently at Edward, so I didn't realize when everyone had left the room. All I knew was that the next moment Edward was sliding next to me in the bed and had his head propped up in the palm of one hand and the other was caressing my cheek. I couldn't help but blush as I thought of the beautiful creature lying next to me with eyes that held nothing but love.

"Edward I love you. This will work out, it has to work out." The last part came out in a whisper. I let a tear fall down my cheek then, but would not let the rest to fall. I had to be strong now. I had to be.

"I love you so much Bella. And we will get through this; somehow you will be healthy again." He sounded so sure of this that had a renewed hope that I would be ok. But then it dawned on me.

"Edward, why don't you change me?" after I said this he was not happy. _Uh oh… maybe I should have waited for a better time. But I'm dying! What better time is there?_ "I mean, it's not like I'll be missing anything. I'm going to die Edward, I mean you heard Carlisle! Things don't look good, and I don't want to risk loosing you forever, So just change me and then we ca-" but he cut me off.

"Bella, you are not going to die, neither by becoming a vampire nor from this cancer. So please, until we are sure that there is nothing we can do then I will please ask you not to ask me to do that to you. Please." I could tell he was trying to stay calm, it wasn't working.

"For now Edward, but we will talk about this" I said sternly, this time I was not backing out, we had to discuss this.

He surprised me by laughing though. "I didn't think you would give up that easily, ok, we will talk about it later." His eyes were for a moment happy, but soon the worry took over again.

"Edward I do not want you to worry. There are enough people here worried, and if I'm going to get through this then I'm going to need you to be strong. So wipe that frown from your face and give me a kiss." He was very surprised by my little rant and even more surprised of what I was demanding of him. He gave me my favorite crooked smile and leaned in and brushed his lips against mine. It was nothing out of the ordinary and it didn't escalade into anything, but it was still perfect. "Thank you" I said while I was catching my breath.

"I remember the first time I kissed you, do you remember?" He asked me with a grin as he heard my heart slow.

"How could I forget?"

**.:Flashback:.**

_Edward hesitated to test himself, to see if this was safe, to make sure he was still in control of his need._

_And then his cold, marble lips pressed very softly against mine. _

_What neither of us was prepared for was my response._

_Blood boiled under my skin, burned in my lips. My breath came in a wild gasp. My fingers knotted in his hair, clutching him to me. My lips parted as I breathed in his heady scent._

_Immediately I felt him turn to unresponsive stone beneath my lips. His hands gently, but with irresistible force, pushed my face back. I opened my eyes and saw his guarded expression._

"_Opps," I breathed._

"_That's an understatement."_

**.:End Flashback:.**

My heart raced at the memory. We laughed about it for awhile.

"Then there's the second time when you fainted in my arms." He added once we had stopped laughing so hard about the first incident.

"I can not help it if you just are to distracting to remember to breath. That, Edward Cullen, is all you." I feigned dislike of the matter hen in actuality I loved the way his scent and smile could make the world disappear.

"You know, speaking of our first kiss, we should go back to the meadow soon. The weather should be getting better soon. I'll ask Alice when the weather will be good when I see her next time." He said matter of factly.

"Really? We should, it's been to long. Well, if I am allowed out of this bed." I pouted knowing what it did to him.

He laughed at me, "don't worry, remember, I have people on the inside." He winked at me and I went back to when Tyler almost ran me over….

**.:Another Flashback!:.**

"_Is she sleeping?" a musical voice asked. My eyes flew open. _

_Edward was standing at the foot of my bed, smirking. I glared at him. It wasn't easy- it would have been more natural to ogle._

_Hey, Edward, I'm really sorry –" Tyler began._

_Edward lifted a hand to stop him._

"_No blood, no foul," he said, flashing his brilliant teeth. He moved to sit on the edge of Tyler's bed, facing me. He smirked again._

"_So what's the verdict?" He asked me._

"_There's nothing wrong with me at all, but that won't let me go," I complained. "How come you aren't strapped to a gurney like the rest of us?"_

"_It's all about who you know," he answered, "But don't worry. I came to spring you."_

**.:End Another Flashback:.**

"Bella? Bella…." I suddenly realized I had started to daze off. I shook my head and looked at Edward. Whom was looking worried, again.

"Yes Edward?" I smiled at him to let him know I was ok.

"What were you thinking? You completely zoned out." He was curious now, not worried since he obviously saw that I was ok.

"I was having a flash back to when you saved me from Tyler's van. Remember?" I asked him with a grin. He smiled in return.

"Of course I remember, we don't forget remember?" when he said we I knew he meant vampires. I smiled at him and he lightly brushed his lips against mine. We kissed for awhile till both of us realized I had forgotten to breathe again. He broke the kiss and whispered "Breathe Bella. Breathe."

We sat in silence with his head on my chest listening to my heart beat and sighing every so often when my heart would suddenly beat faster.

Carlisle came in then looking worst then before, both of us looked up at him with worried expressions at how much worst could this get? Obviously I was about to find out it could get a lot worst.

* * *

A/N: So what do you think so far? Cliffe I know, but dont worry. Ill be updating soon. I have this whole week off from school.

This was mostly a filler. Just so you know. Things are getting sad in this story... :(


	10. Decisions

A/N: Ok.. Ok OK... I know it's been awhile. But hey, my mom was in the hospital last week and I had to drive to and from Ucla from ventura a few days. And I just got back to school so its like Bah getting back intot he sink of things. but yah. Hey is it just me or are a lot of sotries about Bella being 'sick' starting to pop up now? Oh how special I feel for starting this awhile ago! ) Ok OK Ok

Disclaimer: I dont own Twilight/New Moon/ Edward (Boo to the last one)

**Decisions**

Carlisle entered the room, looking more like the grim reaper then as the loving caring doctor that he truly was.

"Bella, we just got back your test results. The biopsy showed that the cancer attacking your stomach and your intestines is at a very late stage, and from further tests we have done have come to find that it is also attacking your kidneys and your liver. The cancer may be fightable still, but we won't know until we actually try the treatment options we have set up.

"Right now I am going to inject another pain killer into your IV and we will see what kind of treatment options we can come up with. Edward, may I speak with you out in the hall for a moment please?"

I looked over at Edward, everything that Carlisle said was just setting in and I didn't know exactly what to say. This is not something that one hears everyday and it's hard to know how to react when it happens to you. As I stared at Edward, with a million questions in my eyes, I saw that he too had the same worried expression that I imagined I would be having right now. Only he looked more like a Calvin Klein commercial then a disease evoked teenager.

He looked away from me then to answer Carlisle.

"Of course Carlisle" He looked back at me and kissed my forehead, then walked out of the room leaving me alone with my thoughts and my worries.

I began thinking then about what Carlisle had said and everything else that had occurred in this single day. Could it really have only been this morning that I was with Alice in a dressing room in the mall without a care in the world besides how to talk Alice into letting me go home to Edward? Now look at me, sitting in a hospital bed, _again_, with something else wrong with me. Only this time it didn't look like it would be fixed over night or with anything for that matter. I could only hope that Carlisle would find something to help me with my situation and that I could beat this cancer. _Come on Bella! Two seconds ago you were stronger! What happened? Don't give up! Be strong for Edward! _Yah that is what I have do, I have to be strong for Edward. But not just for Edward, but for my dad. He needs me now. I can't leave him here like this when I just came to him.

_Bella, you aren't going to die, did you forget that Edward could change you and let you live for all eternity with him? _Maybe he will have no choice but to change me now. There really isn't anything that is keeping him from it, well except my soul, but I mean come on! For Edward I would give a lot more then my soul to be with him for an eternity. Why couldn't he understand that? Especially now when I am so close to death and in so doing the end of something that is so beautiful. He should want to change me, right? I mean if he loves me the way he says he does then he should. Maybe this will help, maybe now we can be together forever.

My heart started to beat faster at the thoughts of Edward and I finally being able to be together for eternity without either of us having to hold back how we feel or what we want to do. He wouldn't have to catch me when I fell, because then I wouldn't fall anymore. I could take care of myself because I wouldn't be breakable anymore. I blushed then because I thought of all the things we could to together without him having to worry about killing me at any moment.

As I sat there thinking of all the amazing ways Edward and I could spend eternity together, Alice came in.

"Hey Bella, how are you feeling?" I could tell that if she could, she would have blood shot eyes from crying so much. I didn't know if it was possible for Vampires to get tired but she also looked like she maybe suffering from a lack of sleep.

"I'm fine Alice; Carlisle's got me on enough pain killers that even Ozzy Osborne would be content." Tried to lighten the mood a little but it only allowed her to give me half a smile, none of which touching her eyes.

"What's wrong Alice? You know no matter what I'm not going to die. Edward has to change me now, especially since I'm going to-" Alice cut me off then.

"Shh Bella, if Edward heard you talking like that, I don't know what he would do, but he would not be very happy. And I don't know what is going to happen, Bella. For some reason I can't see this yet. Edward hasn't decided what he will do if you are faced with death. He's so stubborn." She rolled her eyes obviously at his thick headedness. I was just glad that she did not look as sad as she had before when she had first entered the room.

"Alice, you know you're the best friend I've ever had right?" I couldn't help but say just how much she meant to me, however little I could explain.

Alice smiled at me, her full beauty radiating through her smile and eyes. "Yes, Bella, and you are my best friend too. Don't worry, Bella, I'm sure he will come around. And if he doesn't, well, I will have to do something about it." She flashed me a wicked grin and winked at me.

Edward walked back in the room looking paler then ever and, if possible, aged a few years.

"What's wrong Edward?" Alice asked.

Edward looked up at her and looked at me and then back to Alice. I could tell they were having one of their 'in mind conversations'. Frustrated I watched there faces.

Edward listened for about a second before nodding and looking solemn. Alice nodded in return and looked at her feet.

"Will someone please tell me what's going on?" I asked, completely annoyed now.

Edward simply looked at me and smiled, "nothing love, don't worry." I wasn't buying it, and he could tell. "It's just some vampire thing." He answered again winking. Of course, the one and only thing you could think of to tell me to make it look like it had nothing to do with me.

I pouted then and folded my arms across my chest, glaring at the two of them.

"Oh Bella, come on." Edward was immediately at my side, pulling me to his chest and kissing my hair. And before I thought possible, Alice was out of the room.

I completely forgot in that amount of time that I was mad at Edward because he suddenly had his face inches from mine, staring straight into my eyes. I felt myself losing and suddenly I realized I wasn't breathing. I took a swift intake, never taking my eyes from his. Then he whispered the only words that I wanted hear.

"I love you Isabella Swan. No matter what, I will always love you." And with that his lips collided with mine. Nothing else mattered in that moment. I behaved myself, as always, but unexpectedly Edward parted his lips. His tongue begging for entrance, I willingly admitted him access and sighed in content, only for it to end moments later. Far sooner then I would have hoped.

I sat there with my eyes closed, a smile starting form on my lips as I reveled in the moment. I could still feel Edward inches from me so I opened my eyes. Sure enough he was there, staring intently into my eyes. I took another deep breath at the sight of my gorgeous Edward.

"What did Carlisle have to say?" I asked without thinking, he looked away from me then. I knew that there was something that he wasn't telling me. "Edward, what is it that you aren't telling me?" I was starting to get agitated by this point. _It's my body! I'm the one sick here! Why wont people tell me what the heck is going on?! _

"I don't want to worry you with things that aren't certain. I don't want to... I can't…" He sounded too afraid to say anymore on the subject and my agitation slow crept away from me at the sight of his hanging head, and how sad his eyes probably looked. I took his chin in my hand and raised it so that I could look into his eyes.

"Don't worry Edward, no matter what we will be together through this and I love you. He smiled but it never touched his eyes. I gently brushed my lips against his for a moment and he lay down next to me.

We sat there till morning came, I fell asleep sometime in the early morning, but he never left my side. As I slept I dreamt…..

_I was sitting in Edward's room, cross legged on the floor looking up at Edward as he got off of his couch, my lower lip pushed out. He had on my favorite crooked smile, looking positively stunning._

"_Goodness Bella, falling over still?" he laughed at the situation, the musical sound filling my ears and making my heart race. "What ever will I do with you?" He then reached down and picked me up. _

_He carried me down the stairs and out door. The sun came out then and just as expected Edward's skin shined beautifully in the sun, I took his hand as soon as he set me down, not wanting to let him go for one moment that I didn't need to. But I noticed something then too. As I looked at our hands held together I saw that my hand, too, was glittering in the sun. I looked up at Edward and smiled, he smiled back and we ran through the forest together. Hand in hand. _

_It was a beautiful dream…. Now to make it reality…_

I awoke around 11 the next morning to the sight of Edward still next to me, caressing my face with his cold fingers.

"Good dreams?" he asked with a grin, I on the other hand frowned. _Darn me and my sleep talking!_

"Uh… yes…" I answered on edge. _ Would he be upset if I told him what the dream was? Please don't ask, please don't ask…_

"So what was your dream about?" He asked, curiosity ringing in every word.

"Uhm… well… Promise not to be mad?" I had to ask; at least I was warning him.

He growled playfully, "Bella," his eyes looked so serious that I couldn't keep from answering any longer.

"I'm just warning you," I took a deep breath before I began, "Well, we were in your room, and I guess I had just fallen and so you were laughing at me and you picked me up and we went down stairs. You took me out side and then the sun came out, and you shined in the sun," I took another deep breath, "and then you put me down and I took your hand, and noticed that, that my hand was shining, too." His face went from amused to worried to angry in about 5.2 milliseconds. "Then we took off running into the forest hand in hand… Are you angry? I warned you…" But I couldn't say any more because he had placed his finger onto my lips then.

"Bella, I don't think that we should talk about this." He sounded so serious, but it was too late. Now that I had had the dream I wanted to discuss this. I needed to know what was going to happen to me when I was on my death bed, which looked like it would be fairly soon. So I put on a hard face and spoke.

"Edward, if I am dying in the hospital bed, with nothing you can do to save me except bite me, and keep me forever, would you let me die or would you change me. Edward, I don't want to live, or die without you. Heaven would be completely over rated without you." His eyes looked so sad, and confused. He was so reluctant to answer, and when he did he said it so quietly that I had to strain to hear every word.

"Bella, I love you, and I have no idea what will happen, and it doesn't matter because I won't change you Bella, I can't let you be damned like me when you are such an angel. I can't, I wont, kill you Bella. But I don't want to lose you. There is a half of me that wants you to live a normal life, to die from a normal life, to have children, to know that when you do die that you will be in heaven. But then there is the other part of me that wants you to be with me forever. That part wants to change you, to keep you for myself and show you how much I truly do love you." His eyes had never looked sadder, and it pained me to make him choose. But couldn't he see that I wanted him to change me? That he wasn't being selfish by making me immortal, that I would get to see his face everyday and be able to live forever with him and his family.

We stared at each other for a moment, until he broke it by looking away at the door. "Renee and Charlie will be here soon. I should go." He must have saw the panic that had entered my eyes because he smiled slightly and said, "Don't worry, I'll be back. I need to do some thinking anyways." He kissed my forehead and brushed a lock of hair behind my ear before turning and leaving.

So decisions had to be made, and I could tell that it would have to be made soon. We said how we felt and I knew that some how, some way this would work out. Or at least I hoped so.

* * *

A/N: So what did you foolios think? Its fairly longer thent he others. Not by much but yah. Leave me reviews and cool stuff like that! Thank you for taking your time to read this. It really does mean a lot Wipes tears Im getting all senimental over here... 


	11. Medication

**Disclaimer: Duh, I dont own Twilight, but wouldnt it be cool if I DID?!**

**Enjoy!  
**

**Medication**

I sat wondering about where Edward had gone, and what exactly he had to think about. The love of his life was in the hospital dying, gone forever. But what was he doing? He wasn't saving her that's for sure. He was sitting there acting like he was so noble to be letting me die at the age of 18. _18! One-eight. _I was diffidently too young to die.

Had this situation been switch I'm pretty sure I would have already bitten the bullet, or in this case my skin, and changed me. I mean, I would give anything to be with Edward, and I'm pretty sure that he would too. But for some reason he couldn't understand that all I wanted was to be with him and his family for forever. Nothing else mattered as long as he loved me and wanted me to be happy. Nothing else mattered as long as he was in my life, for eternity. Heaven would be a form of hell without my angel there. Why couldn't he see that?

I sat there thinking about Edward for quite awhile when Renee and Charlie walked in.

"Oh, Bella! How are you feeling darling?" Renee practically ran to my bedside and hugged me so hard I had to remind her that I needed to breathe. "Opps, I'm sorry, I am just so worried about you. Has Carlisle told you anything new? All I know is that they say you have a stomach cancer and that it's spread to your kidneys and surrounding organs… Oh Bella! How are you feeling?" She spoke very quickly, in a completely Renee way. It brought a smile to my face despite the situation. I loved my mother and her crazy ways.

"I'm fine mom. Tired but fine. Carlisle has me on a lot of pain medication. And no, they haven't been able to tell us anything new. As far as I know they are discussing what kind of medication they are going to be giving me." I answered casually with a shrug.

Charlie walked to my bedside and placed a hand on mine; soothing me, although surprisingly his was the hand that was shaking, not mine. "Are you ok dad?" I asked in a clearly worried tone.

"Yah, I'm just really worried is all." I could tell he hadn't eaten in awhile and I wondered if he had really been going to work like he had told the Cullens he was.

They sat there talking with me for about an hour. But little on the subject of my impending doom, whether it was for them or me I could not tell. They left me there, after we had a strange awkward silence. Having Charlie and Renee in the same room was weird enough, through in conversation and a sick daughter and you have the makings of a sickeningly awkward moment.

I pondered more over Edward as I sat waiting for him to return. The nurses came in every hour on the hour to give me more drugs. I was grateful that the medication was not too drowsy so I could at least sit and think without the worries of sleep and what may occur in my dreams without Edward there.

* * *

Edward never came that night. I sat there waiting for him, but he never came. I came up with a million explanations as to why he wasn't by my side, but I couldn't fight this feeling of panic and sorrow at his lack of appearance here. I had started the crying in the early mornings when I realized that he was not going to be coming. I knew right then that if he didn't come back by noon then I would talk to Carlisle. Even if that meant I had to get up out of this, which actually sounded exceptionally good considering how long I had been laying in it.

Noon came and went; I called the nurse and asked her to please have Carlisle come see me as soon as possible. It didn't take long for Carlisle to come to my aid. He came into the room with a worried look on his face.

"What's wrong Bella? Are you feeling ok? Do you need something?" Diffidently worried. He checked my heart rate and my IV bag looking me over completely.

"I'm fine Carlisle. I was just wondering, where's Edward? He said he was going to come back last night, but he never did." It hurt to ask Carlisle, I could tell that it pained him to answer my question. But I needed to know. If he was gone… If he decided that he wasn't going to save me then I knew that I wouldn't be able to fight anymore, and I was pretty sure that Carlisle knew it, too.

"He came to talk to me last night. Actually Bella I was coming down to talk to you right now anyways," He ran a hand through his hair nervously and looked down at his shoes, obviously trying to find the right words to convey what he was going to say next, "Bella, we have found that the cancer is in a later stage then we entirely thought. It looks like all treatments or surgeries will do nothing. I've been trying and trying to find something but there isn't anything. I'm so sorry Bella. If there is, if there was anything..." He trailed off. I felt the shocked expression on my face, and this time there was no Edward to hold my hand or look at me with strong eyes.

I was alone.

But I was still waiting for my answer. "So where is Edward?" I finally asked once I found my voice again. The voice that spoke did not sound like mine. It sounded emotionless and uncaring. Carlisle's eyes were sad, and I knew that this was hard on him, he thought of me as part of his family, as I did him.

"I talked to him about it last night when he came. He pretty much freaked out. Refused to talk to anyone, me included. He was afraid to go see you, he didn't want to do anything stupid and he didn't want to worry you. I warned him that this would be what would happen…

"The last I heard from him he had called me from the woods somewhere to check up on you. He sounded so cold Bella, I've never heard his voice so lacking in expression, so sad…" So much like mine did a moment ago. "He left to think. Believe me Bella; if it were I, you would already be one of us. But it's not, as much as I wish it were. If he calls I will let him know you asked about him. I'm sure he will be back sometime soon." He looked back down at his feet and ran another hand through his hair. Unsure what to do or say.

I looked up at him from my hands and saw the old man radiating through his eyes, the topaz color looking so sad and unknowing. Carlisle was like a father to me. Carlisle _is_ like a father to me.

"Carlisle it is wrong for me to make you and your family go through this. Please, I don't want to put you out anymore, go home and spend time with Esme. You look so tired, so very un-vampire like." I added with a wink. He grinned at my little joke and his eyes looked a little a little better, the sadness starting to lift some from the topaz.

"Thank you Bella and you are not putting us out. We care about you nearly as much as Edward and, like him, we want you to get better. I'm going to keep looking for something to help, but in the mean time I have some medications for you. It will help the cramping some more and keep the cancer from spreading as quickly as it is now." I knew that I should be more shocked or scared, but to tell you the truth, I didn't care. Carlisle left the room soon there after, his grim expression never leaving his beautiful face.

Me and Edward's relationship was once again a balancing act. His decision would decide our out come, or like there of.

If he decided to change me then I would like with him forever, never sick again, never needing rescuing.

But if he didn't, if he decided that he wouldn't change me, well then I would die. Nothing he could do would detour that. And I wouldn't be dying over time. No, Carlisle made it sound like it would be sooner then expected.

By the time Carlisle had left and I had looked at the clock I found it to be around 4 in the afternoon. _'I'm sure he will be back sometime soon.' _ I thought of what to say to Edward. Or maybe I shouldn't say anything. But I had no more time to think because suddenly there was a knock on the door. And slowly it opened.

* * *

A/N: He. He. He.

I apologize now for teh cliff. I find them horrible when reading a story but I had to do it. I know you understand.

Please review! It totally makes me want to update faster! 3


	12. Quality Time

Disclaimer: If I could, I would own Twilight. But I cant... PS I think I have a poltergeist in my house.. o.O

**Quality Time**

The door slowly crept open. I held my breath, not really knowing what to do or say to anyone at this point. And if it was who I thought it was, well then I would have to think of something. But to my surprise it was not someone I was expecting at all.

"Hey, Bella" Jacob said as he entered the room caring a bouquet of flowers in his right hand. He was actually dressed nice. A nice collared shirt and black slacks, I couldn't tell from where I sat but it looked like he had grown quite a few inches since the last time I saw him. He looked older too. Not much though. He still had the same round boyish face that he always had that made him look like the young boy he was. I could tell that it was soon leaving his composure though.

"Hey Jake, what are you doing here?" _That was so stupid Bella. Of course you're sitting in the hospital; he's here to see you. Duh. _ I made an exasperated face towards my hands at my stupid question, but he didn't seem to notice because when I looked up he was several feet closer, smiling.

"I came to see how you were doing. Charlie called my dad yesterday to let us know what happened." Jacob said, smiling the whole time. For some reason unknown to me, I felt comfortable around him. The confusion and pain I had in me a moment ago was evaporating with each smile.

"Oh," was all that I could say.

"So, it's sunny out today." I could tell he was trying to make small talk, and I was grateful that he wasn't talking about me illness while I sat in this bed. But I sighed and pouted.

"Of course it's sunny. I'm in the hospital with no way of going outside!" I pouted some more and folded my arms across my chest. _Edward and I could be in the meadow! I could be outside reading. But nooo, I'm stuck on a gurney! _Jacob laughed at me, finally reaching my bed and sitting on my left side turning his side so that his left knee was resting next to my left arm.

The thoughts of Edward sent me back into my downward spiral of confusion and pain. Jacob noticed my expression this time and grabbed my hand while asking me, "Bella, what's wrong? Are you ok?" He sounded like the concerned friend that I need right now, and even though I really didn't know him well, I felt like spilling my guts to his smile and his happy composure. But then I also noticed that Jacob still had his hand in mine, and I didn't remove it. It felt to warm and comforting. I didn't get the butterflies or the tingling like when Edward touched me, but I did feel comfortable with him. As if I was with an older brother.

"I'm fine Jacob," I knew I couldn't tell Jacob the truth. It wasn't my secret to tell, "I'm just really tired, and they are starting me up on some new pain medication. So that's probably why I feel like this." I sighed again, looking up at Jacob's warm face, my hand still in his.

"Oh, I almost forgot." He reached over to me with his right hand "These are for you." He handed me the flowers, now that I could see them I could tell that they were a bundle of roses; red, pink and yellow. They smelled amazing.

"Thank you Jacob, you didn't have to do that you know." I sniffed again, closing my eyes.

He simply shrugged, "I know, I wanted to." He looked at me with a strange intensity, and I suddenly didn't know what was going on.

I thought of Edward then and no sooner did I think his name did some one enter my room. Edward didn't seem to realize Jacob was there until he was about to run into him. Then he **really** knew. His face grew grim and his eyes glared at Jacob, and then down at our hands. I immediately removed mine from Jacob's grasp and smiled sheepishly at Edward. Jacob's face was suddenly looking awkward.

"I should probably get going. I'll come by another time Bella. I hope that medication starts to help." He patted my hand, receiving a low growl from Edward.

"Yes, I think you should be going Jacob. And don't worry about coming back, she doesn't have to stay here much longer." His voice diffidently had a menacing edge.

Jacob simply nodded and waved goodbye to me at the door.

"You know, Roses are a symbol of love." He raised his eyebrows at me, turning the strength of his eyes completely on me.

I quickly remembered that I was mad at him. I turned my face to look at the opposite wall from where he stood, arms crossed over my chest, a death glare plastered on my face.

We sat in silence for minutes, until he broke it. "Why was your hand in Jacob's?" Could he not see that I was mad at him?

I simply stayed where I was, and answered as coldly as I could muster while the hurt threatened to break my voice. "For your information, he was comforting me. Apparently I look a little _upset._" I put as much acid into my voice as possible.

How dare he lie to me! Leave me sitting in a hospital with no way of knowing where or what he was doing. I kept my face in the deadly glare that threatened to puts holes in the wall.

We stayed like that for another few moments. I finally turned when I heard him sigh loudly. I looked over at him, and saw that he was no longer standing but sitting in the seat next to my bed. He had his face in his hands, his elbows resting on each of his knees. Suddenly I felt bad for being so cruel. Maybe there was an explanation.

"Edward… I," I didn't know what to say, "Edward, what is wrong?" There was nothing else to say.

He looked up at me, guilt and sorrow radiating through his beautiful eyes. "Bella, I'm sorry. Just seeing you there with Jacob and you were holding his hand… I just needed to calm down a little." He looked up at me with a reassuring smile that did not fool me.

"That's not what I'm talking about. Why did you lie to me? Why didn't you tell me you were leaving to think? Why didn't you..." He cut me off then because he was suddenly lying down next to me inches from my face, shushing me with a finger.

"I am sorry for that too love. I just didn't want you to worry, and then I got so worked up, I just couldn't risk being here with you when I was in that kind of state. And I really did need to think, I told you so before I left." I barely caught the words he was saying, he spoke them so beautifully and quickly, and his hand was rubbing my lower back. Making small designs where they laid. He smelled an easy defeat, "Do you forgive me Bella? If not then I can leave if you want…"

He made a move to leave, causing my eyes to suddenly go wide, and making me shout, "Wait!" _Darn it! _"You know, you aren't supposed to make sick people worried or stressed." I made a 'hmphing' sound and sat up once again crossing my arms.

"Does that mean you forgive me?" He asked with his crooked smile, which, although it didn't reach his yes, worked wonders on my thought process.

"Yes," I said it before I realized that I had.

He came over to me then and sat back down. Putting his arm around my waist and whispered in my ear, "You know it's sunny out." I could feel his smile on my neck as he kissed it.

"Yes, that's what Jacob said. You don't even want to know how sad I am that I have to stay inside all day while the sun is actually shining in Forks for once." I said in a sad tone. Then I realized I was in the hospital. I was sick. I was going to die. And Edward was the only one that could save me. I felt the blood in my face rush away from my cheeks, and I suddenly felt light headed. I hoped Edward wouldn't notice, but of course he did.

"Bella, are you ok?" He asked, with the worried tone I think I will have to get used to soon.

I shrugged, not wanting to beat around the bush, "It's just that Carlisle was here a while ago. And he told me what he told you last night, about how there is nothing left for them to do. I'm scared Edward. As much as I don't want to admit it, I'm scared. Please Edward, I need you. Don't let me die like this. Don't let me be away from you. I love you." I was whispering by the end of my little speech. Not really speaking to him but voicing my thoughts. I had been looking down at my hands as I spoke to Edward, but from the prolonged silence I decided to look up. I wish I hadn't.

Edward's face was that of pain and confusion. His face had even paled slightly. He looked so young and yet so old in that moment. His perfection was there yet he looked so vulnerable. I had to reach over and close the small distance between us. I simply reached over and stroked my fingers along his jaw line, breathing in slowly, trying to calm Edward and myself at the same time. It seemed to work because soon he lifted his head and took my hand in his, gently kissing it.

"No more talk of death, Carlisle says that I can take you out for the day to get you some fresh air. So I brought you some clothes," Picked out by Alice probably, "and then we will be going for a picnic. So hurry up, it's nearly sun set. I'll send the nurse in right away." With that he kissed my forehead and left me to change alone in my room.

The nurse came in and checked me over before removing my IV and giving me another dose of medication that I had to take by mouth this time.

"Now darling, don't over do it tonight, if you know what I mean." She said to me with a wink as she left the room. I simply rolled my eyes and walked over to the chair in my room.

I looked over the clothing that Edward had brought me. It was a simple long sleeved black shirt, a pair of faded jeans and a blue sweater that hung tightly at my not really existing curves.

I walked out the room slowly. I noticed as I was changing that I was a bit dizzy due to my lack of movement for the past 2 days. I entered the waiting room down the hall from my own room. Edward stood there looking like the man that I fell in love with.

"You look absolutely lovely, now come on, No one is out side right now and the sun is still shining, so I have to get to the car fast so no one sees me." He started speaking as I reached him; he took my hand as we walked down the hall ways, feeling more like the teenagers, in my case at least, in love then ever before.

"Well then we better get going. Where are we having this picnic by the way?" I asked not trying to hide my true curiosity

"It's a surprise." I rolled my eyes at his remark.

"Of _course_ it's a surprise." I said pouting at him. He gave me my favorite crooked smile and chuckled. He led me out to his car that was in the parking lot of the hospital. We had to walk fast because there was only a momentary shield from the sun and I did not want to know what would happen if someone saw him shining like a diamond.

He opened my door and closed it behind me. He was sitting down beside me in moments and we were off.

I was feeling really tired from simply the medication, not to mention the fact that I had been literally sitting in bed for the past 2 days straight. I was groggy and my stomach hurt. But I didn't care. I had Edward next to me and that was all that mattered. He wasn't leaving me, he just had to think. And he would explain when we got to where ever it was that we were going.

Soon we were on the high way and for some reason I had a strong feeling that I knew where we were going, but the medication was starting to make my mind a little slow and I couldn't exactly figure it out. It wasn't until he had pulled off of the road that ended at a trail did I realize that we were going to our meadow. I slapped my head in frustration and feeling stupid I looked over at Edward and blushed, saying, "Oh," He simply chuckled and jumped out of the car and a second later he was opening my door and beckoning for me to take his hand.

The sun was out now and so I go to see my love in his shining brilliance. It must have been nearly 5:30 because I could tell that the sun was soon going to be going down.

Edward walked with me to the edge of the forest, and walking only five feet in before he took me and threw me on his back. The sudden proximity sent my heart into crazy thuds that refused to cease. He noticed and saw that his face looked lifted into a smile.

"Not to fast Edward, I'm not exactly in the best physical condition." I said holding on tight.

"Don't worry love. I'm not going full speed. Just let me know if you need me to put you down for a moment, ok?" I nodded and he took off as soon as my head was tucked into the crook between his neck and his shoulder. I wanted to look at Edward as he ran, watching him in his natural state was the most beautiful thing that I could ever witness, but I didn't know if it was worth it to get the motion sickness, plus I didn't think it would make Edward want me to stay. Him being him he would demand that it was his fault and then also demand that he take me back to the hospital.

With that thinking I decided that I would keep my eyes closed for how ever long the journey to our meadow took, but soon after I felt Edward touching my hands and whispering his velvety voice into my ear.

"We're hear Bella. You can let go now." I looked up from his shoulder and saw that we did indeed stop just before the arch to our meadow. It was still sunny out but I could se some artificial light coming from our destination. Edward took my hand and led me through the arch.

What I saw there was the most romantic thing Edward had ever done for me. There were fire fly lights strung around the perfectly symmetrical meadow hanging from the trees. And in the center was a small fire pit, not yet lit but I was sure that soon it would be. About 5 or 6 feet away from the center to my left sat a table complete with white table cloth and settings.

I looked back at Edward, eyes threatening to allow my tears that were already at their brim, to spill over. It didn't take much to get them there, Edwards loving eyes and crocked smile was enough to send me over the edge.

I jumped into his arms again holding him around his waist tight. He stiffened for a moment before also engulfing me into his strong arms. Cooing me with soft words and kissing my hair.

"What's wrong Bella?" He asked confusing in his voice. I feared he might feel like he was making me sad and so I decided to pull away to look into his eyes. And when I did I did see sadness in his eyes.

"It's so beautiful Edward, it's so beautiful and I love you so much." I said hastily to make him understand that I was not sad. His eyes quickly softened to show me the full strength and love of his golden topaz eyes.

"I love you too Bella, for ever. Now come on," He released my shoulders and grabbed my hands instead, turning his back to the meadow and walking backwards towards the table. Even walking backwards he looked more coordinated then I could ever dream to be. His eyes never left my face as I tried not to trip while staring at him while he shone brilliantly in the sun and pierced me with his wondering eyes.

He led me to the table where he sat me down and pushed the chair in for me to sit in. He quickly walked, at vampire speed, to the seat opposite mine. I didn't like him so far away and reached my hand out to take his. Seeing how eager I was to be with him he smiled and took my hand in his.

"Now, young man," Edward rolled his eyes at that, "You have some explaining to do. Where have you been? And what exactly do you have to think about?" I looked at him, raising my eye brows questioningly at him. He took a deep breath before engulfing me with explanations and answers.

* * *

A/N: Sorry it took so long. Seriously, Hamlet is a butt to understand. I have to try to understand that before I can even think about anything else. Grr. 

I will try to update ASAP!


	13. Indecision

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Twilight or Edward although having them both on my shelf would be Awesome.

**Indecision**

"_Renee and Charlie will be here soon. I should go." He must have saw the panic that had entered my eyes because he smiled slightly and said, "Don't worry, I'll be back. I need to do some thinking anyways."_

**EPOV**

Those were the last words I had said to my Bella, I didn't know if the words were a lie, and I hoped that they weren't. I couldn't stand to be away from her for longer then necessary. But I just couldn't sit around there and think with a clear head.

Things were getting insane. How could this happen to us? Why is it that when ever we are happy or we over come something, something else lands right into our laps. Why my beautiful Bella? Why my young, intelligent and klutzy Bella? Why couldn't it just be me?

Maybe if it were me dying instead this would be a lot easier. Bella could move on, she would move on. Without a monster like me in her life she would be able to have children, to love someone that deserved her. But then again, no one deserved Bella as far as I was concerned.

I walked down the main hall of the lobby not really paying much attention to where I was going. I walked quicker then I probably should have. This was another reason why I couldn't be here now. My responses and judgments were not on the same page. I was not being rational in the state of mind. I need fresh air. I also needed to hunt, that I did not realize until I walked by a room where someone was obviously bleeding. The hunger erupted in me, giving me just another reason why I shouldn't be with Bella, now or ever.

I walked out of the hospital and jumped in my Volvo. I turned the music off completely and just rolled down the windows. I pulled out of my parking space and sped out of the parking lot. I drove without really knowing where I was going. And somehow I wound up at the spot that would give me the most opportune to think. _Our meadow_.

I jumped out of the car, needing only moments to tell if anyone was around due to my gift. I ran through the forest, venting my frustration and anguishing pain that had been raging inside of me for the past few days.

How could this be happening to me? No not me, to Her. To my Bella, the one and only person I had ever and would ever love. How did I let this happen to her? How did I let her get sick this bad.

_You didn't get her sick Edward; there was no way you could have known._ I tried to reason with my self while I ran to the place I thought would help me resolve these problems and indecisions I was having concerning my angel.

I was there moment's later, sun shining on my skin. I stood in the very center of the circle of beauty, arms stretched, engulfed in warmth. I allowed my eyes to close for the time being, to allow the release of the pain and worry that was collapsing inside me.

As soon as the pressure was released from inside me it came back down on me harder then before. I opened my eyes in the pain that was pounding on me. And that really did not help at all.

I realized coming here may not have been the best place to come to make a completely unbiased decision.

This was the place I brought her to show her what happened to me in the sun, and what kind of a monster I was. How I could so easily kill her. And then there were the words that we had spoken to each other. The words of love and then how after we left we had our first kiss.

Thinking of these times drove me to the edge. I ran to the nearest tree and punched a hole straight through it. After that I still felt the pain, so I didn't stop there. I kept hitting the trees in the forest until I decided that the pain was not going to go away, I sat down where I was, surrounded by trees, some standing and others were on the floor in the wake of my actions.

I sobbed, for the first time in I don't know how long, I sobbed. As much as I willed them to come the tears never fell. The frustration of that was starting to make me angry again. But I couldn't let my anger get the better of me again.

I needed to think this through. I needed to figure out what was more important.

Bella's soul

Or

Bella and I together forever

They both were equally as important in my mind. But who was I to make this beautiful angel a monster, a night crawler for the rest of eternity. To never experience the outdoors as a normal person ever again, to never have children or a normal family, to have to live off the lives of innocent creatures? No, Bella was worth more then that. She was better then that and no matter what she deserved the best.

But from what they are saying, Bella wouldn't be alive much longer to have all those things happen anyways. The family, the normal life any of the normal human things would be gone, lost for her to never experience. If I did change her then she could at least experience some form of a life.

No, you can't think like that. You don't know what else Carlisle had found out in the time you were gone. I realized then that I had no idea how l had been here, sulking in the forest, destroying trees and fighting with myself. I decided then that I would go back to the hospital, but only to speak with Carlisle. I needed to know for sure if Bella's condition was… no it couldn't be… Carlisle is the very best doctor. He would be able to fix her. If he couldn't then I didn't know what I would do.

At the thoughts I leapt up and hit another tree. I took in a few unnecessary jagged breaths and ran for the car. When I got there I noticed that the sun had in fact gone down. I had been gone for hours. For how long exactly I still didn't know.

I got in the car and turned it on. I then noticed the time on the dash. 3 am. Great. I lied to Bella. I'm going to have to make this up to her.

I contented myself on the way back to the hospital with ideas to make Bella forgive me. There were many surprises I had in mind. But one over shadowed all others. I would be needing Alice's help for this one. I pulled up to the hospital and as soon as I reached the door no one other then Alice came running up to me.

"Edward! I saw it already; oh it will be just perfect! When?" She asked eagerly, and it had actually taken a moment for me to understand. But then I did and despite the situation a grin spread across my face. _This has to be good if Alice is so excited. _

"Today, around 4 o'clock. Think you can have it done by then?" I asked her, she got an evil glint in her eyes and she growled. She thought of a few unintelligent words that I had to chuckle at. "Ok, ok, we'll be there at 4. Oh, and thank you Alice." I told her, a serious and somber look spread across my face.

Her face suddenly turned somber too. She looked down at her feet thinking _I know why you are here. He is down the hall. Edward, it wont be good, you aren't going to like what you hear. But you need to hear it. I'm going to go. Talk to Carlisle. Then decide._

And with that she left. I was amazed that she was still here considering the time. But then again, Alice loved Bella a lot. Not as much as I loved her, but her love for her was still there. I sighed and walked down the hall, mentally preparing myself for what lay behind this door. The pain would be enormous. But I had to sit here and listen, I had to sit and see if there were any flaws. I had two degrees in Medicine. Maybe I could catch something that he had missed. I just needed an ounce of hope.

I took a deep breath and walked into the room.

He sat there as if waiting for me. He looked to old then, and I could tell the strain this was putting on him.

"Edward," He began, but I held my hand up. I needed to ask questions, I had no time to listen to other things, I just needed the certain information.

"Carlisle, I just need to know one thing. Will she die?" I had to be to the point, there was no point in keeping up the small talk and beating around the bush. I needed the truth.

"Yes," He answered simply. "You see Edward; the cancer has spread to her…" But I didn't hear a thing after that.

The pain that erupted in me was over powering. It started in my head; the confusion and comprehension were starting to make me dizzy. And then the pain went down to my arms, the numbing and tingly sensation was so odd, and then finally it reached my chest. The pain made me feel cripple. Nothing could compare to this feeling. A thousand daggers could never hurt this much. The only thing that I has a hold on in my life, the only thing I knew for sure was how much I loved Bella. Life without her was pointless. Now that I knew what real life was, what it felt like to be complete, I didn't want to go back. My life was empty and I didn't even know it.

I stood suddenly, obviously taking Carlisle of guard. "Edward?"

"Carlisle, tell Bella I will be by this afternoon. Please," I asked him simply, the flat tone of my voice was shocking yet I assumed it would be there when I finally did speak.

"Of course, but Edward, where," I didn't let him finish. I felt bad for being so rude to Carlisle; he was only trying to help me.

"I have to go, please, just tell her." And with that I left, faster then I probably should have, but I had to get out of this place that was consuming me. I hoped it would be better once I reached out doors.

It didn't.

Life was crashing down on me. If Bella died, then I died. Simple as that. I would make my family think that I would be ok, then I would act. I would only have to deal with the pain for a week. Before I even noticed I found myself at my house. This was not where I wanted to be. Everyone would be home and I did not feel like falling apart in front of them.

So I jumped out of my car and ran for the forest. I ran faster then I even thought I could, I didn't know exactly where I was, but it didn't really matter. I collapsed onto the forest floor. Rolling into a ball and hugging my knees. It would look childish I'm sure, but it didn't matter, I didn't care what people thought of me anymore.

I let out an anguished yell that sent birds and wild life running as far from me as seemed possible.

I sat there for hours, thinking of what to do. The sun rose and I still sat in the same position. Dry sobs emanating from my chest.

Bella being a vampire would not be so bad, would it? I mean we would be able to do so many things that we couldn't when she was human, not to mention I would never have to be without her again. I could love her for forever. Be able to kiss her lips for forever, just Bella and me for forever. It would be my own personal heaven to be able to spend eternity alone with Bella. But did she feel the same?

I know that she always says that she wants me to change her, but would she still want it when she was actually one of us? Would she hate me for what I made her into? What if something went wrong? What if Bella could get better? Yes, if she got better then none of this would matter.

I looked up from the ground again and saw that the sun was not directly over my head, but it looked to be either late morning or early afternoon. I couldn't tell so I dashed back to the house, with the thought of a healthy Bella to keep my legs moving. I ran into the house and ran smack into Emmett and Jasper who held me own so that I couldn't move.

"Ok brother, now Esme and Carlisle are worried about you. You aren't going to go do anything stupid are you?" Emmett asked me in his 'big boy voice'. That's what we called it to taunt him when he was acting serious.

"No Emmett, and if you do not let me go Emmett I will tell Rosalie what _really_ happened to her new engine." He raised his eyebrows at me. a mental picture of the deformed object on the floor at his feet and then Rosalie's reaction was all it took to get him to release me immediately, and without Emmett's help, Jasper was no match to hold me down when I didn't want to be and so he let go as well.

I jumped up and ran to my room, leaving them both standing there. I really was being rude to people today, but I couldn't help it. What did they expect from me? To be happy go lucky and passive about the situation? No.

I ran into my bedroom and went to the dresser grabbing the box in the bottom drawer. I looked at the clock and saw that it was 3:15. I didn't want to be late and so I quickly showered and but on a black shirt and a pair of jeans. Bella always said that she liked me in black. I grabbed the box and placed it in my jeans pocket.

I went down stairs and called Alice on her cell phone.

"Alice, is everything ready?" I knew it would be, but I wanted to be positive.

"Of course Edward, are you ready?" I could tell she was mocking me, but I didn't know how to answer her.

"I don't know," I said nervously "I hope so." I added truthfully. We hung up then and I got into my car, I raced to the hospital where Bella waited. I didn't know what to expect when I walked in but it wasn't what happened next.

I hoped that she would yell at me, so I could see some of that life in her eyes. Oh those eyes, the ones I would lose my self in when I wasn't careful. The color of her blush was running through my mind as I walked through the door, lost in the moment and thought I didn't even realize who was in the room.

I looked up to see Jacob a foot from where I was headed. He was sitting on Bella's bed. And worst then that her hand was in his. I looked from there hand to him to Bella's face. But when I looked back at their hands I saw that she had withdrawn hers quickly.

_Oh no. I hope that he doesn't try to beat me up. Maybe the flowers were a bit much. __Maybe I should go…_

He said a few words, my anger got the better of me and I said some more rude words to him. He left in a hurry and I was left alone with my Bella.

Then and there I decided what I would do.

* * *

A/N: Hope you liked it. It was hard to write. try to update sooooon 


	14. I AM SO SORRY :

**I AM SO SORRY**.

**I am so sorry **I have not been able to update! My mom got really sick to the point where we were taking her to hospitals everyday, mne being the only driver that could take her, and then it was Turkey day and blah, blah, blah with my excuses. But I SWEAR! I am writing as I write this. It's not even half way done and its already longer then my other chapters. So please bare with me here! I stayed home from school today to try to knock some of this out. Please, please, please be patient. I am almost there!

Once again **I AM SO SORRY**. Grr to ME!


	15. Stolen

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I suck at life. One song for this chapter though…

Mae: _The sun and the moon_.

**Stolen**

**BPOV**

Edward sat across from me; his face playing many emotions as he told me where he was yesterday, as well as the things he had been thinking about. I knew that this was probably hard for him but I don't think I ever truly understood how hard it really was.

How could I be so selfish to think that this would be easy for him? I loved him with all my being; couldn't I understand that he felt the same about me? Something inside me always told me that he deserved better, but I think that I just realized that Edward wants me, and only me. That he wanted me to live, just not as a vampire. Or I think that is what he is saying.

Edward closed his story with a sigh, "And you know what happened after I got there." He looked down at his hands, looking slightly ashamed. It pained me to see him like this.

I grabbed one of his hands and brought it to my cheek. His touch instantly soothed me. I closed my eyes and soaked in the feeling. I didn't know exactly what to say to him. There were so many things, yet none of them were good enough for what I wanted to say. I wanted to hold him close and tell him it would be ok. That no matter what I would love him. His decision was his decision and I knew that I would love him no less for either choice.

It's funny how bad situations make you see the light in everything. If Edward didn't change me it would be horrible, but what about the time we had spent together? That was worth my life. It was worth everything to keep those memories.

I opened my eyes; I needed the reassurance of his eyes to show me his love. What I saw was the love radiating throughout him, the pain was there but was overcome with love that it didn't hurt so much to look at him anymore. He rubbed his thumb along my cheek bone and gazed into my eyes, both of us searching each other's souls for the answers.

"Bella, I love you." He said suddenly. It brought a smile to my face how he could say exactly what I needed and wanted to hear from his lips.

"I love you too Edward." I stated while I rubbed my thumb along his hand that was caressing my face.

"Will you dance with me?" He asked with his breath taking crooked smile.

He leaned over and turned on a small radio that I did not notice when I first got there. My smile must have shown my answer because he quickly got up from his seat and walked behind my chair, pulled it out and took my hand in his to lead me to where the fire place was. He leaned over the fire place and lit it and in a sudden motion it was a blaze. I started but gained my composure when I saw Edwards smile.

"I think maybe we should go over here though, I don't want you falling into the fire, it would ruin the mood." He said with a wicked grin that sent my heart racing and my mind running to catch all his words.

"Hey! I resent that comment!" I said jokingly. His smile grew and my heart sped faster and still more as he wrapped his arms around my waist and brought his lips to my ear, "Breathe Bella, breathe"

I took a deep breath and shut my eyes as he planted kisses along my collar bone and jaw line. We danced to the music, none of it very recognizable due to the fact that I was in Edward's arms, yet it was enjoyable non-the-less.

After what felt like mere moments of swaying Edward pulled away from me and took my chin in his hands and stared directly into my eyes.

"Bella, I know that things are very crazy right now and I know that this may just complicate things even more but I wanted to ask you something." With that he kissed me tenderly on the lips. Then, before I thought possible he was gone. I looked around for him only to find him kneeling in front of me, a small box sitting in his hands.

I realized then what was going on, recognition must have come out on my face because Edward suppressed a laugh, which pulled at the corners of his lips.

"Isabella Swan, I have loved you more then anyone could possibly love someone, yet everyday I love you more and more. I know in the beginning I wasn't exactly the greatest guy to you, and that things are always so hard for us, but we got through it together. That is why I ask you now to be my bride, to love and cherish each other for as long as both of us can." He spoke so smoothly, so perfectly that the words were nearly lost to me. They came to me like an angel in a dream; I was crying again I knew that much, then I realized that he was still waiting for an answer.

"Edward Anthony Mason Cullen, I would love to marry you." I don't know how I managed to utter a coherent thought, let alone a sentence, but I did and surprisingly I said it without stuttering or sounding like a complete idiot.

Once he had his answer he grabbed me and spun me around, very cliché and cheesy like but I didn't care. I loved being his and I loved being in his arms. Nothing else mattered. But of course I had to ruin the moment.

He placed me down on my feet, and then the pain started. It felt like someone was punching me over and over again, the air being knocked out of me as I stood there. I tried to fight the pain but it only made it hurt more and before I knew it I was on the floor looking up at Edward before I suddenly blacked out and lost sight of my perfect angel.

* * *

The next thing I knew I was waking up. I was back in my hospital bed, hooked back up to all the tubes and needles. I really was getting tired of having to wake up like this. Not knowing how long I had been out or what even happened for me to become in said state. I thought back to the last thing that I remembered.

_Edward and I were in the meadow and he was kneeling in front of me with a box, then he asked me to be his wife, I said yes and then…_ That was it. Wait. Edward and I are engaged! I looked down at my hand but saw no ring. I frowned at the sight but then remembered that I had passed out before he could place it on my finger. In fact I hadn't even seen it yet.

I heard a chuckle and looked up to see my angel sitting in a chair obviously amused, "Don't worry darling, I have it right here." He patted his pocket and gave me a brilliant smile.

"So why didn't you just put it on me? Wait how long have I been out and what happened?" I asked quickly. Edward's laugh was gone from his face now. His somber look was not something I liked to see, ever. "What?" I asked despite my fear of what it might be.

"You've only been knocked out for about an hour and I was too worried to remember to put the ring on you, plus I figured you would want to tell Charlie and Renee the news yourself, and them being here and you wearing an engagement ring would not have been fun for me to deal with alone. And as to what happened, well, that was my fault. I got you over excited I guess, I put too much of a strain on you and your body couldn't take it so you blacked out. I rushed you here and Carlisle actually just left from checking up on you." He answered quickly, almost too quickly. There was something in his explanation though that I knew he was not telling me.

"What? What else is it?" I asked. I knew that there was something else then because he looked away from me, trying to hide his face. I was anxious now to know, and not the good kind of anxious, the kind when you are being charged with murder and the judge has just been handed the verdict.

"Carlisle just told me the latest. I don't know if I can handle this. This is happening to fast Bella. You were fine a few weeks ago, now you aren't." He was aggravated, I could tell by the tone in his voice.

"Edward, what is it?" it came out more of a whisper then anything for fear that my voice would break and would only make Edward feel worst.

"Bella, I… You… You only have a few weeks. Carlisle said you only have about 4 weeks to live. You're too young to die. What am I supposed to do without you?" I didn't know what to say. When someone tells you how much time you have left to live, especially when it's a short amount of time, you don't exactly know what to say.

The silence was over powering. But Edward broke the silence "Bella please say something." He pleaded.

"I don't know what to say except I would love for you to hold me right now if you don't mind." It was all that I needed right then. As soon as the words were uttered I was in his arms. As soon as I felt the cool touch I let go. The tears flowed freely and the pain enveloped me. Edward just held me as I cried my soul out onto his chest. Soon the sobs slowed and I pulled away from Edward and sniffled a few times before speaking.

"What are we going to do Edward?" I had to ask. It was official. I was dying. Now what was Edward going to do? Would he change me?

"I don't know Bella. But I do know that you are going to have to put this on. If we are going to get married then I think we should tell everyone. This family could use some happiness." I could tell he was forcing a smile to try to make me feel better, but he wasn't fooling me.

I simply nodded and he took the box out of his pocket. He opened it and a gasp escaped my lips before I could stop it. Edward grinned at my response, "Do you like it?" He asked wanting to hear my praise obviously of its beauty.

"It is absolutely beautiful Edward!" I replied; my mood slightly better then moments ago.

The ring was so simple and suited my style so well. It was a plain platinum band with two diamonds on each side of a single onyx stone. I placed it on my finger and saw how it looked perfect on my finger.

"Thank you Edward. It reminds me of you so much, it is perfect." I marveled at the ring for a moment before I turned to look into his face, he knew what I was searching for and he quickly pressed his lips to mine. Electric currents flew through our bodies and all too soon the kiss was ending.

My life may be coming to a close but that didn't mean I loved Edward any less. I knew I would probably have my days when I would throw a fit about not being changed but I would deal with it. I didn't want to spend what little time I had left arguing with Edward, that was not how I wanted him to remember me.

Over the next few days following our engagement Edward was very protective. He would never let me alone.

Carlisle allowed me to go home three days after being in the hospital. It took some persuading but I got both him and Edward to agree to allow me to go.

Things were still very difficult with Charlie and Renee. Mom I guess slipped into some form of depression. Charlie was not much better off. He stopped working as much, only going into the office when absolutely necessary. Between both my parents and Edward a quiet moment was hard to come by, but when they did I wished for someone. I hated to be alone since the day Edward told me I was going to die.

As soon as I was home Edward made me go to bed. Of course I obliged after him dazzling me and giving me statistics of people whoa re sick and bed rest. Needless to say I rolled my eyes quite a few times.

Oddly enough the sun had been shining for days now. It was so rare for the sun to make repeated appearances in one week that I almost demanded Edward to take me out side right that second I got home for fear that it would disappear the next day.

"Don't worry love, Alice reassures me that for the rest of the week the sun will be shining. You can go out tomorrow, for now, rest." He put a loose strand of hair behind my ear and kissed my forehead before whispering, "I will be back soon, I love you" His words still made my heart melt and my stomach do little flips.

I fell asleep quickly. The medication they had me on was a plain pain pill. It was strong though and it made me highly drowsy if I was lying around. I was not dreamless though. I had two dreams, one good the other bad.

_I was lying on a bed, only I was watching myself. My eyes were closed, and I looked exceptionally pale. I opened my eyes then to see my eyes a beautiful golden color. I sat up faster then I knew I could move and ran down a flight of stairs. I was in the Cullen house, why I had no idea, but I was intrigued and so I followed myself down the stairs. Once there I saw myself sitting on the couch on someone's lap, and of course there sat my angel. Our foreheads pressed together, our bodies looked into a tight embrace. We kissed and I changed dreams…_

_It started nearly the same. I was watching myself as I lay on a bed, looking horribly pale with my eyes closed. I was no longer in the Cullen home though. I was back in the hospital, a soft sun light was fading through the window, and as I looked to it I saw that the moment the clouds hid the sun the rain started to pour down. I looked back at myself to see myself still laying there, eyes closed, and abnormally pale. I then noticed the people around me appear as if coming out of thin air. First there was Renee and Charlie standing closest to me, Charlie comforting her as she cried not stop sobs onto his chest and tears falling down his face. Then Carlisle came into view standing near the door, then Esme at his side. Then to the other side of me stood Rosalie and Emmett, she didn't look smug anymore. In fact she appeared to look sad, Emmett looked ready to kill as always, but behind his eyes there was a sadness that I did not understand. Then Alice came into view, holding one of my dream body's hands, her forehead lying in her palm, Jasper appeared behind her, he placed a hand on her shoulder and she shot him a look of gratitude. Then, came the only one I was waiting for. Edward. He was not sitting next to me, nor was he standing near anyone else. No he was lying in the bed with me, brushing the hair out of my face with a smile as he caressed my face like he had done so many times before. It brought a smile to my face, and then he spoke, "Bella, I will always love you. There will never be anybody else. You are in heaven now and that is all that matters. Please don't forget me, I will never forget you. My angel you are where you belong. I love you, I love you, I love you…" A he repeated the words as the dream faded. _

I awoke slowly, my eyes ached and I had a hard time opening them. I felt like a huge weight was on my shoulders suddenly. I got out of bed despite my bodies protests and walked to the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror and saw that my cheeks were horribly flushed and looked very eerie next to my now abnormally paled skin. My eyes were blood shot and there were tear stains all along my face.

I looked away from the mirror and stripped down. I turned on the water and stepped in. At first it was cold but it quickly heated up. I showered for awhile and then got out. It helped my body but it didn't help my mind. It merely gave me more questions that needed to be answered.

I went back to my room and got dressed; a pair of jeans and a v-neck sweater was all I needed. I cautiously walked down the stairs; I did not need to add pain to my already confusing morning. I made it down stairs and walked into the kitchen. There sat Charlie and Edward conversing casually over a cup of coffee. I shot Edward a wide grin and questioning stare; he merely shrugged and took a sip of his coffee. Charlie probably didn't notice, but I did when I saw him slightly cringe from the horrible taste. In response I laughed and sat down at the table with the two.

We sat for a time just talking about things, the wedding mostly.

The wedding was to be held this weekend, all thanks to the wonderful Alice. She had my dress and the bridesmaid's dresses ready a mere month after I arrived in Forks. She was so excited that she would finally get to see them on everyone. The tuxes were the guys department, but apparently they were already ready, too.

Alice had decided that the service would be held in Edward back yard, Carlisle would be the preacher and Alice had already planned out the decorations. I actually was not allowed to know anything else about the wedding. I had no idea what the dresses looked like, only that they would be perfect.

Charlie and Renee had taken the news of our engagement fairly well, and by now Renee was in full Wedding mode with Alice.

I got up sometime later from the kitchen table and said I would be going for a walk. The two men in my life both jumped up quite fast and at the same time said, "Are you sure? Do you want me to go with you?" I looked at both of them and raised my eyebrows. They looked at each other and shrugged.

I simply smiled at the two, "Actually it would nice for you to come with me Edward." I said shooting him a grin.

He smiled wide at me and nodded to Charlie who nodded back. We walked out of the house hand in hand.

We walked in silence most of the time. Edward would ask me a random question here and there, which kept the mood light. I enjoyed these moments with Edward where we could simply walk in silence; enjoy each other's company. The night air felt extraordinary in my lungs this evening, I would close my eyes and take a deep breath allowing the cold air to go into my warm body.

We arrived home about an hour later. We entered the home and decided to watch a movie.

The evening in its self was so perfect and simple. It was moments like these that made me swell up with sorrow for the fear of not having many more of these times.

I fell asleep in Edward's arms some time during the movie. I awoke the next day in my bedroom though.

Today was Thursday, _two days till the wedding. _I was so excited I almost didn't realize I was wrapped in Edward's tight embrace. Obviously it didn't take me long to realize and start hyperventilating.

Edward grinned at me and whispered in my ear, "Bella how many times do I have to tell you, _Breathe_." He kept looking at me and I kept taking sharp intakes of breath, but for some reason I couldn't catch it. Something was wrong. Sure I've hyperventilated before but I've caught my breath after a few moments. This time I was trying with all my might to get air to my lungs.

Edward soon noticed this too and quickly had me in his arms and was running down the stairs. He placed me in the passenger seat of his Volvo and strapped me in. My head started to get light and there were black spots forming in front of my eyes. Soon I had passed out.

* * *

I awoke for the umpteenth time this month in the hospital with far too many wires, tubes and needles in me. I looked up into the eyes of my angel to be met by a face holding grief beyond anything I had ever seen.

"I'm sorry Bella. It was my fault. I shouldn't have done that to you, I knew what I was doing, and I shouldn't have made your body work harder than it needed to then it needed to. This is my entire fault…"

I was very confused, so I simply asked, "What happened?" What ever happened I knew was not Edward's fault. There was no way anything was ever Edward's fault.

"You woke up and I knew that your heart would race when you saw me, it always does, and all I did was made it harder for you. I'm so sorry." Edward enveloped his head into his hands and sighed. It took all of my strength not to go to him and take him in my arms; to let him know that this was not his fault. None of it was.

"Edward, it is not your fault that this happened. I'm, ok see." I said pointing to myself. I was perfectly fine.

"No Bella, you're not. Your stats are going down. Things are getting worst. They won't let me take you from the hospital anymore." He said, looking up at me but then looking away at my pained expression.

"But, but what about the, the wedding?" I asked. Nothing else mattered. I knew I was dying and the only thing that I was looking forward to at the end of my life was that I would be married to my one and only. How was I supposed to get married in a hospital bed?

"I don't know Bella. I'm sure Alice and Carlisle can work together and figure something out. I want to marry you Bella, I need to marry you. I love you." He was instantly at my side; clutching my hands in his, softly caressing them with his hands and kissing the knuckles. My heart reacted by pounding erratically. Edward quickly pulled away to let my heart rest. Only it didn't. His sudden resistance to be at my side made my heart beat into overdrive, my breathing became more unnerved and I started to grip the sides of my bed. Edward quickly ran out of the room and came back moments later with Carlisle.

"Bella, Bella dear, can you hear me? You need to relax, breathe Bella." Carlisle told me in hushed tones, I looked into his eyes and then into Edward's who was standing on the other side of me, both of their faces were over powering mine and I was lost in the gasps of breaths. I blacked out.

I awoke very tired. I was relieved to find that I was no longer hooked up to as many tubes. Carlisle came in then and sat on the corner of my bed.

"Bella, you had heart failure, and your lungs are starting to seize up on your body. I'm sorry but things seem to be moving faster then we expected. You don't have much longer. Edward is out in the hall, I'll send him in." I could say nothing. What was there to say? I was so confused. I thought that I had three weeks. It had been less then a week. How did this happen so fast. Oh no. I'm not going to marry Edward before I die. I started top hyperventilate again. Edward came in then, and at the sound of my breaths, he ran to my side.

"Bella, please breath, please." He started to hum my lullaby which made my tears fall but my lungs were opening. It took a few minutes but I became ok.

"Edward…" was all that I could say just then.

"Bella, I'm sorry I couldn't save you. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you." He spoke with sorrow in his eyes and face. I swiftly took his face in my hands and caressed his cheek.

"Edward, don't let me die here. Please. I don't want to die in a hospital. Take me somewhere else, somewhere meaningful." I hoped he could see the hope in my eyes. The fact that I would die in a hospital with the plain walls of this room as the last thing I would see was not something that I wanted. I wanted to be anywhere but here.

Edward must have seen the desire in my eyes because just then he nodded, took the needle out of my arm and covered it with a band aid before I even knew what happened. He had me wrapped in my blanket and in his arms quickly. He searched the halls for anyone walking by, once he was sure there would be no one to stop us he ran to the car, it had started raining and I was drenched even though I was only in the rain for mere seconds.

He was speeding away before I could even try to get my seat belt on.

"Bella, are you ok? Do you need anything?" Edward asked franticly. I looked at his face, it held fear and sadness.

"I'm fine." _I'm just dying and sitting next to the man…vampire…of my dreams, which happen to be falling apart at the current moment actually. _ I had to look away, the pain was starting to weld up in my lungs, and an eternity without that face was something I feared more than an eternity in hell.

We arrived to the little dirt road off of the one-oh-one. Edward ran around the car and was running through the woods with me before I could take off my seat belt, let alone know we had stopped. My eyes closed on their own accord this time. Flying through the forest was actually something I was going to miss. I was going to miss everything that had to do with Edward. My beautiful Edward. The one who had saved me multiple times in ways I didn't even know someone could be saved.

We arrived at our meadow soon after we started running there. Edward set me down under one of the surrounding trees due to the pouring rain. Edward held me close and kept his eyes on mine, I felt so tired, so drained. So finished. It was scary, the feeling of death, I had experienced it before when James had nearly killed me, but this was different. There was nothing more for me to do but sit in Edward's arms. The look that he gave me was enough to make me love him more then ever. I grinned slightly for my energy was lacking and I was trying to stay awake as long as possible.

* * *

A/N: I am so sorry that took so long! This is my longest Chp. Im proud. hehe.

On a more serious note.. i know that this chapter seemed a little rushed with the events but it was supposed to be.

There is a lot more on the way... You have no idearrrr.


	16. Goodbye

**A/N: Sigh, I don't own Twilight, New Moon, Edward, Alice, Bella, Charlie, Esme or Carlisle. Don't sue. **

**Goodbye**

**EPOV**

The rain was now pouring on us despite the fact that we had taken to sitting under a tree. I was looking at Bella two ways as she lay in my lap. One of which was of love. The other was of worry.

How could I not love Bella, as beautiful, fun, caring and loving as she was?

The worry was just as easy to come by; it was from the fact that, by her breathing, I could tell I did not have much time left with my love. In fact it looked like I had no time left. There were so many things that I wanted to say to her that time may not permit.

"Bella, do you hate me for letting you die like this?" I asked her sincerely and with worry in my voice, I tried to conceal the later in hopes that she would not hear it.

"I could never be mad at you. You are the light that makes me happy, the thing that allows me to love and be apart of this world. Before you there was no me, there was just a person wandering the world with no purpose. So how could I hate you for anything after you have given me everything and more out of my life?" The words slipped out in raspy, yet beautiful tones of her voice. Her little speech hit right where I think she intended it to. My dead heart leapt at the thought that Bella could never, and would never, hate me, despite the fact that I had put her in more danger then it seemed humanly, and inhumanly, possible.

"Bella, you are, have, and always will be too good for me. You speak of how I have changed you, when you are truly the one who has changed me. Before you I thought I was able to get by on my own, to never love someone as my brother's and sister's do, to never want the touch another, to never kiss another's lips. And then you came along and you changed everything. You made me realize that life, no matter how true to the fact it is, is still worth living, and you made me want to live it to the extent of the world. You are my everything, Bella."

I spoke the words slowly and carefully, knowing that her hearing was probably going as quickly as her speech and breathing was. Her answering smile was all it took for me to want to bring my lips to hers, but the tears falling down her face stopped me short, my smile dissolved from my face and concern replaced it.

"What is wrong my love?" I asked wiping the tears from her cheek.

"I am just so happy that I got to love someone like you Edward. I never thought it would happen to me, but it did. I could not be happier at this moment." Her tears fell rapidly, now mixing with the rain that decided to make it's self once again known to us as we sat on the forest floor of our meadow, waiting for the inevitable to come.

I suddenly wanted time to stop. I wanted to sit and stare at Bella's face, full of love and admiration, forever. Just us two alone, away from the dangerous world I could condemn her to.

Bella's breath caught in her throat as she tried to say something, she started coughing, fiercely and repeatedly.

"Breathe love, breathe, you have to stay with me now, please, don't give up just yet." I soothed her while she worked to catch her breath, rubbing small soothing circles on her back as I whispered into her ear.

She eventually calmed down, and looked at me with apologetic eyes.

"Bella, are you ok now?"

"Yes I am fine now, Edward, thank you." She replied in a brittle voice.

"Now what were you going to say?"

"Oh, I was going to say, I am sorry." She was looking at her hands now, something she did when she felt ashamed, I had no idea why she would though.

"Why would you have to be sorry Bella?" I asked while gently grabbing her face with my hands to make her look into my eyes as she answered. Oh how I would miss those eyes.

"For being weak, for being human, for putting your family at risk all those times. For everything, Edward, and I need to know that you forgive me." My heart lurched at her apology. She had no right to be saying sorry for these things, I was the one who should be apologizing, she was not weak, human yes, but my Bella was not weak.

"Bella, you have _nothing _to be sorry for! Sure you may be human, but you are anything but weak. You are brave and strong, and had it not been for you then I don't know where me or my family would be right now. It is my fault that my family was put in danger, because I put you into danger. You did nothing wrong, It was all m-" But I could not continue because she had placed a shaky finger on my lips.

"Let's just forgive each other for everything and call it even ok?" She smiled slyly at me making me also smile in return.

I brought my face close to hers as she smiled, and soon she was nearly hyperventilating. Not wanting to cause her to go into another attack from anticipation, I welcomed her lips with mine, softly brushing them against hers with the lightest of touches. I could feel her blush covering her cheeks as she kissed me back, the gentleness of our impact soothing to both of our hearts, dead or otherwise.

I pulled away at the sound of someone approaching behind me.

"Hi." Alice stepped out from behind a tree, why had I not heard her before? Her face was sorrowful and, if she could, she would be crying.

"Alice what-" But before I could answer Alice had her hand in the air to silence me.

"Edward, I know what is about to happen, and I am sorry that it has to be this way, but you have about 5 minutes before Charlie and the rest of the Forks police department come barging into our home looking for you and Chief Swans daughter. So if you do not hurry and get back to the house then they will blame you and the rest of us for Bella's either death or kidnapping. Believe me, if this was not an emergency then I would not be here." Her voice rang with sincerity. Just then I felt Bella tug on my arm, I looked back at her to see her red faced and gasping for air, her lungs were starting to fail. I felt my eyes widen with fear. I looked from her face to Alice's, whose face also showed shock and sorrow at the situation at hand.

"Bella, baby, breathe, for me Bella, please stay with me just a little longer." I begged and pleaded with her, she opened her mouth to speak.

"Alice, I love you." Her voice was so shaky, so weak. It seemed to take all of her strength to say just that, but she continued, "You have always been a sister to me and I hope that you know that you and your family have made my life something to be happy about. My life was empty, meaningless, I had no one. And then I met Edward, and his family, it was what I needed. Thank you for everything."

In an instant Alice was at her side, clutching one of her hands, holding it to her face, dry sobbing as she spoke. "Bella, why are you so brave even as you face death? You are the bravest human, in fact, you are the bravest _anything _that I have ever met. You are so special," Her voice cracked there, showing how truly sad she was, "Edward is lucky to have found you. You've changed him you know, for the better of course. I love you, too, Bella." She bent down and kissed Bella's cheek and whispered a goodbye.

I begged my Bella as she said her goodbyes to my sister, "Don't leave me Bella, don't go, I need you. Please don't go. God, don't let her go. I love you, I love you, I love you…" I just kept repeating it as I looked into her eyes.

"I love you too Edward, don't ever doubt that. Forever, remember, don't forget me." She told me as her heart started to slow.

"Never, I love you." I would have agreed to anything at that point. Anything my Bella wanted then, she would get.

"I love you" She replied as her heart slowed, and then, as I gazed into her eyes, stopped completely. Those last moments, before her eyes closed completely, her eyes shined and glistened, completely absorbed in love. Her face glowing and I could see something there that left me gasping for air. I had no idea what it was, but there was something mysterious about the last look she had given me.

I cried tearlessly for I don't even know how long, until I felt Alice's arm on me.

"Leave me alone Alice." My tone was emotionless and I'm sure it was rude, but I didn't care then. My Bella was gone and I could do nothing about it.

"Edward, go home, I will take care of Bella." She told me in an equally emotionless tone.

"No."

"Edward, if you do not they will arrest Carlisle and hold him until you are taken into custody. They know you have her. Don't worry; I will bring her back to the house when it is safe. Please just go." She had me backed into a corner. My family was really all that I had left now, would I really do that to them no matter what I had just gone through.

No I wouldn't.

"Fine."

Alice nodded and went to take Bella from my hands, but I just looked at her and she knew to give me a minute. She walked around to the other side of the meadow to give me some privacy.

"Bella, my darling, my Silly Bella, I love you, I always will, I will never forget you. You are still everything to me. I know I should have changed you, and I wish I would have, but," I paused; the pain erupting in me was making it hard to think let alone speak. I looked into her face, it was still bright, nothing like the way a corpse should look, and it gave me strength to continue, "I know you are already in a better place, please forgive me, I love you." With that I kissed her still warm lips and carried her to Alice.

I kissed her again and reluctantly handed her to Alice. The second she was in her arms I started to run. I had never run so fast, and I knew that my eyes were probably pitch black by now.

I walked into the home and found that the police were not there yet, but I could hear their sirens a couple miles off. I quickly went upstairs and changed into some dry clothes and composed my face.

I walked down stairs to find Carlisle and Esme. They both looked at me with worried expressions. I simply stood in front of them. Their minds were something I didn't really feel like hearing so I ignored them.

"Edward, Charlie will be here soon, he will be a wreck, and I know he will blame you, but please, stay calm. It will be over quickly."

I nodded to let him know that I had heard him. I sat down on the sofa across from my mother and father, the sirens were still ringing, but they just reminded me of my loss. I could not allow those thoughts to get in just yet. I needed to wait.

All it would take is fifteen minutes and I could leave this town forever. I would make sure I kept in contact for a week, as I planned, and then when they did not suspect it, I would go to Voltera.

The sirens were very near the home now. In fact, they were just pulling into the drive way.

I heard the frantic minds of all the men and woman that were now getting out of their cars and coming to storm the house. Then there was a booming knock on the door and I heard chief Swan's voice.

"Dr. Cullen, Edward! I know you have her, you open this door now!" I was hoping that Charlie would not be so violent about this; it was not exactly something that I thought would help me in the current situation.

Carlisle walked to the door and opened it to a red faced, but also sorrowful, Charlie.

"What is the meaning of this Chief Swan?" Asked Carlisle in his "doctor" voice, the one he used to try to sooth his patients when he was giving them the "bad news".

"Your boy has taken my Bella, and I demand to know where she is now!" He yelled while barging into our home. I never took Charlie to be a very aggressive kind of man, but in this case I guess he was.

"What are you taking about?" I asked.

_There he goes playing innocent, he took my Bella. I know he did._

"Edward, give her to me before I have to take legal actions." He demanded while bounding to me in such a way that if I were human I would be terrified of the man. But I wasn't human, and the way the man looked at me pulled at my heart. They had the same look when they were angry. My dead heart sank just that much lower in my chest.

"I'm sorry Chief Swan, I do not know what you are talking about. Wait, Bella is missing?" I jumped up in fake surprise, but made sure to make it as realistic as possible.

_Wait, he doesn't even know she's been missing for 3 hours?! There is something fishy about this._

"Edward, I'm losing my patience here. Give her to me, or tell me where she is before I have to put you under arrest." I did not mind going to jail and I would lie till the end. I needed to protect the only thing I had left.

"I'm sorry Chief, but I have no idea where Bella is." I answered through gritted teeth, the agitation was growing in my throat and I did not want him to hear it and get anymore suspicious of us then he already was.

"Fine, I'm sorry I have to do this then. You are under arrest, Edward. You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court-…" as he read me my Miranda Rights I drifted off to the last moments of Bella's life. It took all that I had left in me, which was not much, to keep from breaking down right there.

I was ushered out of the home to the police department; all of it was a mere blur to me though. I was lost in the last look of Bella's wondrous eyes as she told me for the last time that she loved me. I closed me eyes, remembering her perfect smell. The way she would blush if I some how embarrassed her, the heat scorching through her body for those few short moments. The way her wet chocolate brown hair would hang down her back after she would shower and come to lay down in bed with me. The way she fell, but seemed to fall straight into my arms. The way she made me fall for her. The first day I saw her, the curiosity that burned inside me from this creature. That first day in Biology, I cringed at the thought of ever hating Bella for anything.

By then I was sitting in one of the very few cells in the Forks Police Department. I had no idea how I was going to get out of this, but I knew that they could only keep me for 72 hours with out any credible evidence. Today was a Friday though so I would not be out till at least Tuesday depending on the officers. I just needed to keep my mouth shut.

That wouldn't be hard. I had more then enough to occupy my time. I didn't need to eat, and I didn't need to sleep, so I just waited till the guard was asleep enough and I would bend the bars that encased me and walk outdoors. The rain made things in my mind that much easy to think about with the familiar weather down pouring on my face the same way it did that night. I thought once again about that last look she gave me. So full of love, and she looked so alive still. I asked myself what the mysterious glint in her eyes was, but just took it as the death over coming her.

This was bound to be either a very long or very short couple days. And the whole time I would be regretting my decision about the only thing I loved more then anything.

* * *

A/N: So what did you think? I'm in Vacation in Hawaii right now and had the urge to write. This was a pretty darn hard chapter to write and I apologize for the shortness. IT'S NOT OVER. Stay tuned. Things get a little weird now. Dun, Dun, Dun. Yah… Next chapter is going to be strange. . SO HARD. But it will probably be up really soon…. : 


	17. Death Comes, Death Goes

**A/N: I dont own anything. Please dont sue.**

Death Comes, Death Goes

**Bella POV**

My eyes closed with my last breath of air, my last small smell of Edwards's perfect skin. I sunk into the black water that was trying to pull me down, I allowed it now to take me and found my self at the single most cliché place that people saw when they died.

I broke through the Black water by a white light and found my self surrounded by white walls. My clothes had, somehow, been changed to white. A white gown fitted over my too thin body and white shoes covered my feet. M y hair was pulled back into a sleek pony tail and I felt like I had never been sick in the first place.

I was very confused by the situation, the walls were also white, the ceiling was white and the floor was white. It really was quite scary and if this was heaven then I was diffidently freaked. I felt a sudden jolt of pain as I remembered that I would never see Edward again. Sure I had to hope that there was salvation for his kind, but then again there was the thought that it probably wasn't going to happen.

"Bella" A loud, strange, yet familiar, voice called to me from somewhere that I could not see. I looked around me franticly trying to figure out what was going on. Once I figured it was too much for me, I sat down on the floor beneath me and rolled my legs up to my chest and started to cry.

Great, I'm dead, scared _and _hearing weird voices.

There was only one voice I wanted to hear and I knew that this was not that voice.

"Do not be afraid Bella; I am here to offer you a deal." The voice spoke again.

"What do you want?" I questioned, voice shaky and full of fear.

"I know you love a one Edward Cullen. Love like yours is not something we see very often, and I know that he regrets his decision greatly." Okay so somehow this voice knows about Edward, I was diffidently in over my head. "So I offer you one this option: you may go back to earth and be with the Edward Cullen for eternity, you have 10 minutes to convince the one named Alice to change you into the form your lover is in." I was instantly on edge by this.

"What do I have to do for you in return?" I asked warily, nothing this amazing could come without a price. Thoughts of James and the ballet studio came rushing into my mind. What if this voice was tricking me just as James had?

"You must promise me to spread the love you share together with Edward with the others of the world." Was that it? Was I really being offered a place for eternity with Edward? There could be no way.

"Really? That's it?" I asked, to be sure.

"Yes, like I said, you and Edward Share something very special and I wish for you two to be able to share how much love you have for each other with others." The voice replied to confirm that I had heard him correctly. I jumped up from my spot and looked around me.

"Wait, where am I exactly?"

"You are in a somewhat half way home. If you refuse to go back to earth then you will go to Heaven."

"Ok, well I think that I would like to go back to Earth then, please." I told the voice, I tagged the please on at the end, no need to be rude to the person that was about to give me the best thing in the world, or so I hoped.

"Ok then Bella; please remember to spread your love." The voice reminded me, and then I was being sucked back into the blackness that I had been emitted from minutes prior. I was shoved back through more forcefully this time and I could see a clearing in the water up ahead. I heard a gasp and felt the cold ground beneath me as I opened my eyes to a stunned Alice standing in front of Edward's Volvo.

"Hi Alice." I said with a smile, thank goodness that creepy voice was telling the truth.

"Bella? How are you alive, what the heck is going on here?" Alice asked in a frantic voice, eyes completely on me, while she picked me back up and set me in the front seat of the car. She ran around the car and sat down before I even registered sitting. She turned to me then as she started the car.

"Well, it's kind of a long story… where should I begin?" I told her in response to her question.

"How about you start where you kind of _died _and then tell me how you are now alive." She told me while driving out of the gravel road onto the one-ten, eyes on me, not the road.

"Alice! The road if you please!" I told her looking at the rain soaked wind shield.

She complied and asked again, "Now what is going on?"

I looked at my hands and launched into story mode.

"Well, I died, obviously, and I was thrown through this black fog type thing, and was somehow emitted into this all white room. When I got there I heard a voice and it told me that they knew me and that Edward and I had a love like 'they' have rarely seen. And then it offered me a deal, if I promised to share the love Edward and I share to the world then I could go back to earth and become one of you and spend forever with Edward!" I finished, I looked up to see her staring at me incredulously.

"So what, the cancer is gone now?" She asked.

"Oh yah, you have about 4 minutes left to change me or else I die again. So if you don't mind, could you bite me really quick?" I said with a smile, her replying smile made me grin wider and soon she had pulled over and told me to sit still.

"Now Bella, I'm not sure how this will work. I'm not exactly trained to do this, so please, do not haunt me or what ever if I accidentally kill you."

"I trust you Alice."

I took a deep breath in and felt her cold breath on my neck just before her perfectly white teeth sunk into my warm neck.

She bit me long enough to be sure that the venom was in my veins. Then removed herself from my side completely and quickly had her phone to her ear, "Hello, yes I'd like your grand suite for the next five days please? Yes. Yes. No. Thank you." She hung up with out another word and then, the fire started. I clenched my fists and fought the pain, but it only seemed to intensify, the pain was worst then I remembered it being before.

I screamed in spite of myself. The pain was getting to be too much and it appeared to have only been a few moments since it had started. I had no idea how I was going to make it for three days. But Edward's face emerged in front of my now closed eye lids.

"Don't worry Bella, I'm right here." She told me while grabbing one of my hands and rubbing soothing circles on it. It calmed me slightly, what with Edward's face shining in front of me and the circles she was rubbing that reminded me so much of his cold touch.

We suddenly stopped and I had no idea where we were. I didn't care much either. Alice told me to stay quiet for the next few moments until we could get upstairs and I could barely understand her through the pain.

Alice pulled me from the car, her cold touch calming my burning body. A small whimper escaped my lips, despite my trying concentration on hiding the pain, when we reached the front desk.

"She stubbed her toe a minute ago, must still hurt." She quickly lied.

My eyes remained closed throughout the time it took Alice to check us in. Soon she had me around the waist again and half carried me to the elevator where she laid me down and I let out an ear shattering scream knowing no one could hear me in the tiny shaft.

The burning was so dominate in my body I wondered if there were any worst pain, I decided that there wasn't.

Alice carried me from the elevator to our room. She opened the door and carried me to the bed where I withered in pain and screamed in agony.

"It's ok Bella, you can scream all you want, I rented the whole floor, no one will find out." She clutched one of my hands and sat on the bed with me.

I laid there for 3 days, no sleep, no numbing at all, the fire consumed my body for three days straight and not once did Alice leave my side.

I suddenly felt the fire dulling slightly on what I assumed to be the third day, and as quickly as it started, it had ended.

I sat up suddenly to look at my surroundings. I sat in a hotel room with a strange orange and peach flower design as its wall paper. The bed I sat on had a strange puke green and desert dirt color scheme to it that matched the curtains that kept the window from being exposed. I saw that the room was actually fairly big, far larger then my room in Forks.

Then I noticed Alice and found her to be smiling at me which caused me to smile right back at her.

"Alice, where are we exactly?"

"We, Bella, are in Seattle, and we Bella, are going to be going shopping very soon. Wait till you get a look at yourself!" She said pointedly at me.

I quickly jumped out of the bed and ran to the rest room where I was sure to find a mirror.

There were very slight changes to me but Alice was right, I was beautiful. My face looked just out of a high fashion magazine what with the high cheeks bones and defined jaw line, as well as my body, I looked to have grown a whole cup size as well as added some curves to my body that I had no idea could even exist on me. My lips puckered at just the right amount and I had to be slightly taller.

I turned to Alice and gapped at her; she grinned at my response to how I looked and grabbed my hand and led me out the door.

"Wait Alice, where is Edward? And shouldn't I stay inside till I hunt or something? Won't I try to kill the humans?" I asked in vampire speed, I would diffidently need to get used to that.

"All in good time Bella. First off, no you will not try to eat any of the humans, it is one of your powers, congratulations!" She told me like she had just jumped out from behind a couch and yelled SURPRISE! "It's probably due to the fact that human blood irritated you so much as a human."

"Cool!" I replied very immaturely but could think of nothing else to say in response to the weight lifted off my shoulders. "Wait, one of my powers?"

"Yep, I had a vision that we found out you have more then one power, but I didn't see what it was." She explained.

"Oh, okay."

"Ok so lets go shopping!" She grabbed my hand and pulled me to the door.

I was thinking about Alice's vision as she pulled me through the Seattle mall when something happened.

I had a vision.

Or, I hoped that was what it was.

_I was running through a door, it was Edward's, and jumped onto a newly acquired bed and then heard a noise coming from down the hall. Then lightning fast, I saw bronze colored hair fly in before it pounced on me, pinning my arms above my head and grinning down at me. Edward._

Then it ended. I looked at Alice and her eyes were wide with worry.

"Bella, what happened? Are you ok?" She asked franticly.

"I think I just had a vision." Alice looked at me incredulously.

"Are, are you sure?"

"I don't know, I think so." I answered tentatively.

"Ok, did the thing you see happen already?"

"No." I was sure of that at least.

"Did you recognize where you were?" She asked as she led me to a bench so that we could sit and discuss what was going on.

"Yes, I was in Edward's room. On a bed, does Edward even own a bed?"

"Not yet. Bella, I think we just found out what your other gift was. You are a seer like me! Oh this is so exciting! Another seer in the family! I didn't know you had premonitions when you were a human." She chatted at a million miles an hour, I on the other hand was still trying to make sense and comprehend everything that was happening.

"I don't think that I ever have." I admitted frustrated as I stared at my feet, eyebrows drawn together.

"Hmmm, well, maybe it is something else; we'll ask Carlisle when we see him." She added, brushing it off as if it was the simplest, least complicated, thing ever, when in truth to me it was the most confusing and mind boggling thing at the time. But the name Carlisle brought me out of my confusion and on to thoughts about Edward.

"When do we get to tell Edward about all this? When do I get to see him?" I asked out of the blue, we still hadn't talked much about what was going on with my current situation and how waiting was the best thing for me and Edward.

Alice sighed and then answered, "Soon Bella, very soon. Edward does not and will not know that I changed you until I take you home. You see, Edward thinks your dead, and believe me he is beating himself up about it left and right. I actually saw him in a jail cell the other day, but no matter." I felt my jaw drop.

"What? Edward is in a jail cell!? Isn't that bad Alice? I mean wont someone find out what he is that way? Oh no! Edward is in jail! We have to go help him." I made a move to get up and bolt for the door, but Alice was still faster then me even if I was a vampire now.

"No Bella, sit. I am not done telling you my plan!" She said while trying to restrain me from getting up again and leaving to try to, somehow, get Edward out of jail.

"Ok Alice, I'm listening." I said rather harshly due to my defeat.

"Alright, so, since he is beating him self up about it, he is regretting his decision, the longer we wait the better. He will start feeling so bad he won't be nearly as mad at us when we get there as he would have been if we went straight away." She said with a smile the whole while. She reminded me of those Cheshire cats in that 'Lady and the Tramp' movie by the way she was grinning, it kind of weirded me out a little. But her plan did make sense. It was inevitable, no matter how long we waited, that Edward would be furious at us.

"I understand Alice, he is going to be very mad at us."

"Mostly me, but he will still be mad enough." She replied with another wicked grin and a wink. "So now may we continue shopping?" She asked.

"Of course, Alice, help me find something Edward will love." I said while getting up from my seat and smiling at Alice. She smiled right back.

"It would be my pleasure."

* * *

The next few days went by way too slow. Alice took me hunting after our shopping trip. The experience was something that I would never forget. 

"Alice, where are we going? Aren't these woods ok?" I asked in desperation. We had been driving for hours.

"No Bella, believe me, you are going to thank me when we get where we are going." She said to quiet my whining.

"Is Edward going to be there?" I asked hopefully.

"No." She answered with a straight face, but her lips were twitching to smile.

"Then I doubt I'll be excited." I answered truthfully while sitting back in my seat and crossing my arms across my chest, that made her laugh.

"Oh, don't worry Bella! You'll see him soon." She said to me trying to make me feel better about being away from my one and only.

"What ever" was the only thing I could think of to reply. My mood always shifted drastically when I spoke of Edward. Missing him was the most painful thing I had ever experienced.

We arrived about another hour later, the ride ending in silence as we pulled over in a remote forest area.

"Ok, now, when we get out you need to give yourself to your senses. Just breathe in and smell, taste and see your prey." She said.

"Ok, I'll try." I responded sounding skeptical.

We both jumped out of the car and ran into the forest. The first thing I noticed was that something smelled very sweet, and it made my throat dry. I immediately felt my body stiffen, I looked over at Alice to see her in what I presumed to be much like my stance.

She was hunched over slightly, like she was about to pounce on something, her lips curled back to expose her pure white shining teeth that would soon be sucking the life out of something. She looked over at me and I saw that her eyes had turned a flat black now. She nodded at me, and I did not need a second telling. I ran in the way the scent was coming from, dodging the trees and brush as I went. The feeling was exhilarating, but I would focus on that later.

I stopped close to where I found the smell came from. There I found a family of deer as well as rabbits in a meadow. I got down on all fours and positioned my self like a cat preparing to pounce when I heard a sound behind me. I took it as Alice and ignored it, preparing to make my kill.

Then suddenly I was being whipped around to face bright red eyes.

The eyes from the dreams that haunted me while I slept. But I was a vampire now and I suddenly felt brave, and confident. This person was not about to ruin a life I had just started to build. So I pulled my arm away and looked at the face that held me. When I did I gasped in acknowledgement.

The wild and red hair was too familiar. My stomach dropped and I suddenly wished I hadn't been so forceful with the creature standing before me.

There she stood, the one I had forgot about. The very thing that would ruin my non existent life. I stepped back from the eyes of my enemy, staring wide eyed at the grin planted on her face and the way the wind made her look just that much scarier. She took a step toward me, her devilish eyes sizing me up.

"Bella you are no longer a human I see. That will make this just that much more fun." She said to me in a polite and amused tone, but I heard the menace behind her words. "You see, I was simply going to go find you and your lovely boy friend Edward and ruin your lives such as you've done mine. But this worked out so much better don't you think? Now dear ole Edward won't even be able to say good bye to the one he loves. Oh dear, poor Edward." She said sarcastically, mocking my pain at the words she said.

I would never get to see Edward again. Never get to see his eyes shine when he saw me again. Never get to hold him in my arms like I used to. I would be damned to hell with out one last goodbye to the person I had done this all for.

I sure as hell was not going out like that.

But before I could come up with a thorough enough plan as to what to do, she came at me in a leaping motion and grabbed my arm that I instinctively raised. She was within inches on my face in second.

"Oh yes, this is going to be to fun." She said with a grin, but a second later it fell and her eyes fell to a flat black.

"You're not alone. That's too bad. I guess you and your little friend will have to die together." She said, no longer looking at my face, but towards something that occupied the meadow. I was to scared to look away from the face in front of me, but I didn't have to for long.

"Let her go Victoria. If you do not, you will die." The voice of Alice spoke and I sighed in relief. Soon enough she stepped to my side, eyes flat black, almost matching Victoria's.

"You think that you two can defeat me? Do you know my powers?" She sneered at Alice, looking her up and down like she was a hunk of puss.

"Actually I do." She said with a smile.

Victoria laughed then, a menacing and sickening laugh that sent chills down my spine.

He hand was still on my arm when I felt an odd sensation. I could see and smell things I couldn't even as a newly formed vampire, I also felt the urge to run.

I looked at Alice with questioning eyes. Did she see this?

Alice looked at me, nodded and then jumped onto Victoria. This cause Victoria to remove me from her grip on my arm, allowing her to duck from Alice's attack.

I took this time to evaluate these new feelings. Alice and Victoria continued to fight for about thirty seconds when I felt my senses take over and my body start to move with out me.

I lunged at the fighting pair, Alice was losing. I grabbed Victoria by the hair first, not seeing any other way to get her off of Alice fully quick enough.

She turned on me as I jumped back, landing on the balls of my feet and placing my hands on the floor in a crouching way. I snarled at her, my new senses and confidence soaring.

"You little-" She started but I cut her off with a kick to the stomach so fast she didn't even see it coming. I smiled in spite of myself, I looked over at Alice and saw her gaping at me.

"What?" I asked, curious as to why she was staring at me like that.

"You, you, just wow." She stuttered, something I was not used to hearing from dear Alice.

Just then Victoria made her presence known again by running at me full speed and trying to catch me off guard, but my newly acquired reflexes saw her just before she made contact and I moved out of the way just in time for her to run right past me and have to come to a sudden stop and turn around to look at me.

Then, something I never thought would happen did.

She ran.

Oh no. She wasn't getting away with this that easily my brain told me. I followed my instincts and ran after the she-devil. Smelling the air around me trying to catch her bitter scent, my instincts leading me most of the way, my feet carrying me faster then I ever thought possible.

Soon I could see the vague out lines of her form in the distance which made me just push that much harder to catch her.

I caught up and with one last effort I lunged at her body, tackling her causing us to both go flailing to the forest grounds. I growled menacingly, the venom in the back of my throat was beginning to get thick as I thought of the death my hands would have on them soon. Victoria would not continue to ruin my life. She would no longer be the menace she was to me as a human. I leapt at her again, this time snapping my jaws at her neck, I missed but caused her to fall back to the floor in fear.

I was not the weak, helpless Bella in that moment. I was in control, she was actually afraid of me. I could see it in her eyes, the fear. She was now on her back side, leaning on her hands and crawling backwards to try to get away from me.

"How, how, did you get my power?" She asked me incredulously with voice shaking.

I stopped short then, confused. "What?" I asked, truly curious.

"You are using my powers to run fast and the ability to track." She said, wide eyed. Her eyes were glued to me as she scrambled to get away.

"I don't know what you are talking about. But Victoria, you wont be wasting perfectly good air by breathing for much longer." I quoted Edward as I pounced for the final time on Victoria.

I slashed till there was nothing left of her body to slash anymore. Once I was sure she was dead with no way of coming back, I turned to leave, but when I turned around I found Alice staring at me, wide eyed again.

* * *

So... Whatcha think? 2 chapters in 2 days. I knew that this was ideal to help you all understand, so I decided to be ncie and post it. Now review please. hehe. I really like this chapter. The last one was sad, and this one just screams 'Bella you're tough! Kick some butt' idk. I like it. hah. 


	18. Home, Sweet Home

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, and goodness! Does Eclipse needs to come out ergh WHAT?!

Any who…. Here goes chapter numero 14:

**Home, Sweet Home**

As I turned to Alice, I felt strange again, completely confused as well. The dominance and hatred I had felt moments before had completely left me. As well, the extra ability of the intuition I was feeling was gone as was the need for speed.

I looked at Alice, I was sure my face now matched hers as I thought of what I had done. I had killed Victoria! I had killed _something. _Sure I had gold fish that had died, but I never took it as me killing them, well at least not by slashing at their bodies till they were too deformed and mutilated to be anything but dead.

If someone were passing by they probably would have thought that we were having a staring contest, where the first person to blink, laugh or even move, lost. This could go on for awhile, but Alice broke the silence soon after.

"How did that happen?" She asked me, incredulous as to whether she, or I, had actually seen what had happened.

"I… I don't know." I answered truthfully, looking down at the ground and furrowing my brow in thought.

"Well, what happened when you attacked her back there?"

"I don't know, it was so weird though. At first when she let me go I had the urge to run, and run fast; then I had an odd feeling, which now that I think about it, must have been hatred, I've never felt something so negative before. And then when I saw her attacking you I lost it." I had no idea how I knew any of this but it spilled out as if I had known all along, "The hatred built and I attacked and when she ran I lost her for a moment, but my intuition and sense of smell was leading me a way and I caught up and lunged at her, and you can see the rest." I said at the end, pointing over my shoulder to the now unrecognizable Victoria.

"We'll talk about this more with Carlisle when we get back; let's get back to the car." She said finally after a few moments of thought. She then turned and led the way back to the car.

I followed her, lost in thought, back to the car.

"So does that mean that we will be going to be going back to Forks soon?" I asked, my eyes wide and voice bright with excitement. I could not wait to see Edward.

Alice turned to me with a grin, "Yes Bella, we are going back to Forks."

I couldn't help but smile wider at the thought of being in Edward's arms again, and I couldn't even imagine the look on his face when he would see that I was not in fact dead, but rather very much alive. Well not in the literal sense.

Alice broke through my thoughts as we traveled back to the hotel to gather our things.

"Bella, do you remember that dress I bought you at the mall the other day?" she asked me.

I looked at her confused; she had bought me many dresses on our trip to the mall.

"You know, the blue one that goes off the shoulders?" She said as if I was mentally disabled.

Then I remembered the one she had bought me that looked better on me then anything I had tried on before, the blue matched exactly the same color as the one Edward had told me he loved so much with my skin. But would he still think that same of the colo contrast with my new paleness? Sure it was much of a change from what I was before, but it was change enough.

"Oh, what about it?" I asked.

"That is what you will be wearing tonight." She told me without looking away from the road although her grin was clearly visible.

I smiled in remembrance of the occasion that would take place this evening.

We made it back to the Hotel and went straight to our room. I almost couldn't contain my excitement as I packed my things, and almost exploded when I saw the dress.

"OK, go put this on and then I will do your hair. This evening is going to be perfect." She told me pointedly, wasting no time.

I got dressed and came out immediately sitting on the stool that was presented before a mirror in the main room.

"I don't think that we will have to do much, just pull your hair back, and then maybe a little lip gloss to make you oh so kissable." She chuckled to herself and I found myself also laughing. I was in complete ecstasy even though I had to play Barbie doll to Alice for the umpteenth time. I didn't matter because in the end it would lead me to the perfect moment of getting to see Edward again.

Soon I was ready, my hair was pulled back into an elegant bun that could be scene in any high fashion French magazine. The dress that I was wearing formed perfectly to my new curves, and even though my skin tone had changed, the color made me look almost human again, I had a healthy glow about me that I didn't know was possible for vampires. My feet had on them a simple pair of black heels, and even though I was now a vampire, it was difficult to walk so I thanked Alice for not getting me anything too potentially dangerous.

Soon our clothes were all packed along with all of Alice's beautification products. We pilled all our stuff into the trunk of the Volvo and into the backseat; barely fitting everything into it.

I could barely keep from jumping up and down in my seat. In less then an hour I would be able to see Edward. I would get to see the love of my life and 'death'.

What more could I ask for? Nothing.

We were now hitting 115 in the Volvo, and still I urged Alice to go faster. I needed to see Edward. Then just as we were about to pull into Forks she whipped out her cell phone.

"Hello, Carlisle? Yes, is Edward there? He's in his room? Ok…." Silence as Carlisle asked her a few things. "No, I'm fine… where have I been? Seattle… No I'm coming home now. Yes… I'll be there soon. Bye." She hung up and I looked over at her, questioning her with my eyes.

"I wanted to make sure that Edward was home. I didn't know whether he had gotten out of jail yet." She said with a grin at the thought of her brother having to be in jail. The picture of him in jail would probably be pretty funny, but right now I just wanted to see him. I looked out the window and saw that we were nearly to the house. My dead heart felt alive again as we traveled the deserted streets of Forks.

Soon we were pulling into the large drive way of the Cullen residency. I held my breath and looked at Alice, eyes wide and questioning.

"Wait here, I'll let you know when to come in." She told me before dashing out of the car and into her home. I sat there patiently awaiting her return. Soon it got to be too much and I had to go inside. I got out of the car and walked to the door, opening it silently and then walking inside, closing it just as quietly as I had when I entered.

* * *

A/N: Yep. Short I know. But seriously... I had an outline for this story…. It was not supposed to end up like this, I swear. But the characters changed it! They have a mind of their own and I had to go with it, I argued but hey, what they want they get. : Next installment up soon. 


	19. Too Far Gone

**Disclaimer: Simply put I dont own crappppp. **

**Too Far Gone**

I sat in that jail cell for as long as I could take. Not that it mattered much. Without Bella by my side I was worthless. I didn't care where I was, didn't care what I did. I just did not care with out my warm, loving, caring, and genuine Bella.

I was being sent home today. They could find nothing to charge me with, just as I knew they would. Carlisle came a few times over the several days I was stuck in this place. Because it was a Friday that I was put in, I was not released till the following Wednesday. But the days just melted into the next as I sat thinking of my decisions, the fact that I had let the only thing I loved die, the very thing that made my existence even somewhat meaningful.

The guards would get worried about me, and I think at one time they even had me on suicide watch. It made me scoff at the fact that soon I would indeed be doing just that. Not that they could stop me. No one could stop me now that I had nothing left to live for.

Nothing or anyone.

Sure I loved my family, but what would I be doing when I was around them besides sulking? Nothing, I would spend eternity just thinking of the way I would feel when Bella simply entered a room. I would sometimes sit and remember few of our arguments we had. The way she would yell and then scoff at me. But as soon as I would hug her and kiss her neck, I would feel her warm blush and know I was forgiven.

Bella's blush would be something I would miss dearly. It was part of the reason that I was drawn to her. Not to mention the blood that rushed to the surface of that fair, pale, skin. How could I ever have thought that I would harm her? I would never be able to hurt even a hair on her head. Her life was more fragile to me then the smallest of new born children.

But now she was gone. She was dead, and it was partially my fault. I was too stubborn for my own good. She wanted this life, and my selfish self wanted her to be one of me as well. I wanted to be able to hold her recklessly close with out having to worry about hurting or killing her. I wanted to be able to kiss her with out the fear of loosing control. I wanted to be able to walk into a room with her at my side for eternity.

I then realized that they were opening the door for me to leave. I walked out quickly and swiftly. The soon I was out of this room I would be able to go home, and lose myself in the thoughts of Bella. Her life was now a mere memory, but I would never allow those to die. Bella's memory would live forever, even after I died. In hell I would remember her.

I walked out doors into the misty morning of Forks. Carlisle was standing next to his car with a sympathetic smile on his face. As soon as I got close enough he embraced me with a hug. I felt the need to cling to him. The feeling of wanting to feel whole.

"I know this hurts," _Alice has to come home soon._ Carlisle told me with his mind. It was just lucky I caught it. I had taken to blocking out all thoughts that surrounded me. I was far too unsettled to be able to deal with other's thoughts as well as my own.

It struck me then; I had left Alice with Bella after her… Why was she gone this long?

"What do you mean 'Alice has to come home soon'?" I asked. He obviously hadn't expected me to be reading his mind then because his face widened with realization.

"She never came back after you got home." He was careful with his words, trying not to hurt me with remembrances of the day Bella passed. "We haven't heard much from her actually. But she called this morning to say she was well." I could tell he was telling the truth.

I simply shrugged and walked to the car and sat in the passenger seat. I didn't feel like standing in a parking lot with my father and the rain at the current time. Who knows when the thoughts and memories of her were going to strike me again? Of course it would be now.

We drove by the hospital on our way home; the memories began flooding my mind.

I remembered the first day I had seen Bella. The hospital was the place I rushed to get away from her.

Then when I saved her from Tyler's car, our argument over what I was ensued, I still remember how her lip pouted unknowingly during the conversation.

After we got back from phoenix and I took her to her regular doctor's visits to have her leg checked on.

Then finally, the final days of her life were spent in that hospital. Where I placed her wedding ring on her finger, where I promised her the wedding of her dreams.

I remembered how she looked at me the day I proposed. The smile on her face made me love her more at that moment. The thought brought an unintentional smile to my face.

By the time I had thought all of this I realized I was sitting alone in Carlisle's car that was parked in the drive way. I looked out the window to see sheets of rain falling. I leaned back in the seat and closed my eyes. I sat there listening to the rain and remembered how much Bella hated the rain.

I needed to be near her. I needed to be rescued from this pain, and she was the only one that could save me now. She was my superman in so many ways. She didn't need the super human speed or strength. She had the heart of a super hero, and the feelings she gave me were the only things keeping me glued together. Now that she was gone, I was falling apart.

I looked at the home I was due to inhabit. The thought that it would only be a week from today that I would be leaving this world brought small hope to me. I knew I would never go where Bella went but I knew that if I had to be away from her, then I would prefer to do it somewhere where people would not force me to remember her death. The sympathy I would receive would be enough to set me off. I knew that my anger would be doubled now, even towards my family. But at this point I figured that they would be the last ones to really see and interact with me.

With a grudging sigh I decided to exit the automobile and enter the household. I knew it took me mere moments to exit the small confines but it felt like an eternity. I had a feeling that the next week to come would feel a lot like this.

I approached the door at a human pace; I opened the door even slower. The scene that was before me was what I expected. The entire family, all except Alice who was still missing, sat in the living room, all wit sympathetic eyes. I did not need to be a mind reader to know what they were thinking and dismissed the looks without a second glance.

I quickly turned away from my family, the topaz eyes that stared back at me reminded me even more of the things that kept me and Bella from being together forever. Even in death we were put to the test. Our afterlives were rooting for our demise. Yet our love for each other would win out. Somehow, someway.

I snuck up to my room and sat on my couch. I quickly realized that was not a good idea.

This room held too many memories of times when Bella and I were so much happier, and alive. I looked around at the walls, of the window, of the light I should never be able to see again. Upon the walls sat the music that would make me feel so much better, but now only made my heart tear open that much more.

Without thinking I threw myself from the couch and upon the shelves containing the music. I threw the piles onto the other wall, causing the sounds of crashing and banging to be heard throughout the house. After I was done with the cd's I did not stop.

I went to the wall I had thrown all the cd's at and began punching them. I don't know how many times I punched the walls, or how many holes I had made. Only that there were now two arms around me and I was sobbing like a child. Because that's what I was, a hopeless child.

I turned to see who had stopped my rampage and upon turning I saw Jasper. He looked so hurt, as if he could feel my every hurt too. But then again, he could.

My eyes became soft under the realization. He too was dealing with the fact that his wife was missing. Of course it was nothing compared to the fact that Bella was gone. At least he knew she was coming back.

"Edward, I know how you feel, literally, and I'm here for you. This I so difficult for the both of us, I know that you tried so hard, but you have to try." I looked away from him then, He was about to start talking about her, the pain that I would feel from her name would be painful, but for some reason I knew I needed to listen. "For what it's worth, Bella always admired you; she always thought that you could make it through. But time was against you, but she always loved you." I finally looked into his eyes. I couldn't tell if it was his words or his extra skills that were making me feel less empty, but either way they seemed to allow the whole to stop feeling so raw, even if the feeling of pain was still there.

"I was blesses, I'd forgotten how to love. Until she came into my life." I uttered finally. Jasper just nodded and left me to be. I sat for what felt like years in my room.

I would still go through with the plan, I would still go to Italy in a week's time, but for now I had to make sure my family did not get involved.

* * *

A/N: So, It's short. Its sweet. And its just to let you know how Edward is doing. 

Next Chapter is already half way done. AND Bella and Edward finally see eachother! Im sooo excited!!! Arent you?

Reviews are super. lol


	20. Whoa

**Disclaimer: I dont own it. please dont sue. Thanks. Here we go. Enjoy. **

**Whoa**

** BPOV  
**

I turned to look at the living room that I had occupied only weeks before. It felt so much like home, I knew that life would be getting better in a matter of moments, too. Soon I would be in Edward's arms.

I turned and saw Edward's beautiful piano. How I longed to hear him play for me, and I knew I would soon. I looked at the stairs to find a wide eyed Jasper being led down the stairs by Alice. He stopped dead in his tracks, no pun intended, to stare at me.

"Bella, is that really you? No, no it can't be. Can it?" He asked, confusion clear on his face. I looked from his face to Alice's. I could feel the grin plastered across my face. And soon I was hugging Jasper with all of my might. It took him a moment to recover but then he hugged me back.

"I missed you Jasper!" I told him through my crazy grin. But then I felt so many emotions. It almost knocked me to the ground. There was one especially that I noticed. A pain so great I didn't even want to know what could cause it.

I hadn't even noticed that I had let go of Jasper and was now leaning into Alice's arms.

"Bella? Bella? Are you having another vision?" She asked me franticly. I shook my head vigorously no.

"She has visions too?" Jasper asked Alice.

"Among other things. What is it then Bella, you were fine a moment ago." She looked at me with wide eyes that held a twinge of worry, but I could also feel the worry rolling off of her. I had never felt this way before. I didn't understand it.

I recovered somewhat, but the painful feeling lingered and made everything so much harder to do. But I got up and walked to the sitting room where I sat across from Jasper and Alice.

"I was hugging Jasper then I felt an overwhelming feeling. Well, more like feelings. And then as I was looking up at you Alice, I could not only see the worry in your eyes, but I actually could _feel _it." I said aggravated that all of these things kept happening. But then I remembered that I was in the same house as Edward.

_Edward_

I saw Alice and Jasper exchange looks and they knew. They knew exactly what was behind my eyes. The reason there was a sudden light that lit them up. They both looked behind them and up the stairs. I knew where I was to go, and thanks to my now acquired vampire speed, I could get there even faster.

I ran up the stairs, not tripping once, and stopped just out side his door.

I expected some for of music to be playing, but as I drew closer, the pain that had erupted inside me had started to get worst. I knocked on the door only to receive silence. I knew he was in there, I could feel his presence, smelled his all too sweet and perfect scent. I couldn't wait any longer. I needed to see him. So I just walked in.

Before me was a sight I had not been expecting. There were many holes in the walls that surrounded Edward's room, and all of his music had been thrown from there shelves, most of them were broken in half, simply lying on the floor.

He didn't seem to notice me as I walked him. But I noticed him.

He was sitting on the floor amongst the rubble around him, and despite the fact that he was still wearing the same thing that he wore the last time I saw him, he still looked as though he just stepped out of the silver screen.

I stepped through the door way, wanting to close the distance between us, but not wanting to startle him. I took a step closer and he spoke.

"Look, I've told you all. I'm not going hunting, I'm not playing any games and I'm sure as hell not leaving this room, so leave." I had never heard Edward so irritable. Yet his voice still held the same silky tone that I had fallen in love with. I couldn't take it anymore, I had to say something.

"Edward," was all I could say, what does one say to the one they love when they expect you to be dead?

As soon as I had uttered the words the pain doubled.

"Great now the voices are back, even her smell is her." He let out a low growl and then sat up too fast for even my vampire eyes to catch.

I stared at him and him at me. We stared for a very long time before I saw him lye back down.

"Edward, it's just a hallucination. She's dead, she can't be here. You're only hurting yourself." He told himself. I shook my head and realized the pain I had caused him.

Sure if it had been reversed I would be dead by now, but he should not feel this way towards me. He should not be yelling at his family, refusing to hunt, sitting in his room alone for days at a time.

"Edward Anthony Mason Cullen. I am not dead." I told him matter-of-factly.

His reply was simply a chuckle and then he added, "Bella, you never will change. I miss you."

I gave up on conversation and decided it was time that I showed him I was truly alive. I ran to where he was laying on the floor and jumped on top of him. Straddling him as I leaned down to meet his eyes.

As soon as I did this his eyes shot open revealing shock and surprise. The pain I felt moments before was there but there were other emotions starting to pile on top of them. But I didn't pay any attention to those, the only feelings I knew that were true were the ones telling me I needed to kiss Edward.

"Bella, is that really you?" He asked me, his voice and eyes full of doubt but hope. But the clearest emotion I could read from those eyes was the love. The love that we shared.

"I told you I wasn't dead." I replied with a small smile. Edward gave me his favorite crocked smile and then our lips were one. There was more passion and hunger behind that kiss then any we had shared before. It lasted forever and yet ended too soon.

We pulled away and looked into each other's eyes, not wanting the moment to end. The pain that had been in the back of my mind previously had all but disappeared, and there were only two things that remained: Love and Lust.

I wondered where these feelings were coming from, and how they changed so dramatically. Of course being in Edward's arms didn't keep me thinking about those things for long. Soon I was thinking about kissing him again. The perfect lips I had missed so much must have been on the same wave link because soon they were crashing against mine with passion I didn't know could exist.

Unfortunately, Alice and Jasper decided to knock on the door then. I turned my head expecting them to walk in.

Edward growled and said. "Jasper, go away. I'm busy!" Even though I was looking at the door, I could tell Edward was smiling. I turned back to him and found him looking at me with a wide smile plastered across his face.

"Come on! Jasper and I missed Bella, too!" I heard Alice reply through the door.

"No!" Edward replied to them. They really did act like a bunch of teenagers. It made my smile grow wider with the realization that these were the moments I had chosen a damned life for.

Edward's arms were around me, we love each other. Alice and Edward were arguing like the brother and sister they were.

I was happier then I had been in my whole life.

"Edward, we are coming in there whether you like it or not! Besides we have to talk about Bella's powers!" Edward looked at me with curious eyes, then shrugged and rolled his eyes.

"Fine" he growled.

Alice and Jasper came bouncing into the room. Now that I was a vampire there was no need for Jasper to keep his distance so he came right in wit Alice and sat in front of where Edward and I lay. It was then that I remembered I was straddling Edward.

_Oh man! Brother, are you sure you want us here?_

I heard Jasper say, but as I looked at him I realized that he was not moving his lips. I self consciously jumped off of Edward and bent down and hit Jasper up side the head.

"Jasper!" I said to him, He looked confused but then his eyes widened.

"You heard that?" He asked me incredulously.

"Yes I heard that." I said crossing my arms and sitting down next to where Edward was now sitting up.

I looked at him and his eyes held that same curiousness they held moments before.

"You can read his mind?" He asked me.

I shrugged, "I don't know, you tell me." I replied, unsure what to say.

_I wonder if she can read my mind._

"I guess I can, yes I can hear your thoughts." I replied to his unspoken words. I realized I had found another power and smiled wider.

I wondered if this day could get any better.

"Ok so you can read minds, see visions, feel the feelings around you and somehow you are an excellent tracker?" Alice asked me.

"I don't know, maybe we should ask Carlisle?" I replied, unsure of what to say.

I also was dying to see Esme Carlisle and Emmett. Even Rosalie would have been a sight for sore eyes.

"I think that that is a great idea." Edward told me while he wrapped and arm around my waist and breathed against my neck, causing those same chills to go down my spin.

I nodded in response. Even as a vampire I could not help but lose my composure around him. Alice and Jasper led us out of the room. Alice giggling every time she would turn around to see Edward whispering things in my ear.

* * *

A/N: So, it's short. I know. Well, I'm happy they are back together. : They BELONG together. I was very excited to get them alone in a room together.

Sighhhhhh

Any who. Only a few Chapters left. Hope you all liked it. Reviews are super. Thank you all so much for them!


	21. Explanations 101

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything that belongs to Stephenie Meyer. Grrrrr**

**A/N: I AM SO SORRY FOR THE DELAY! I have been in Mexico and I JUST started a new job when I got back. (You have no idea how many alerts I have right now to go through "/ ) **

**Explanations 101**

Edward and I walked down the hallway to Carlisle's office. His arm around my waste and me tracing his face with my left hand while my right held on securely to the fingers that were wrapped around my waste. We took the stairs down a flight and turned to walk in the doors that led to Carlisle's study. Alice and Jasper opened the door and allowed us to walk in first. Carlisle was reading a book and, upon hearing us enter, set the book down and looked up.

The look on his face was something I will never forget. He really had no idea that I was still alive. I suddenly heard his voice in my head though his mouth was not moving.

_Oh my goodness. How is this possible? Edward how is this possible? _

I giggled at what I assumed to be his thoughts. I looked up at Edward to see his amused eyes dancing as they caught and held mine. Only when Carlisle spoke did we look away.

"Bella? Is that really you? How is this possible?" He asked. His smooth and even voice lined with curiosity. He had a grin upon his face that made me smile involuntarily at the happiness I was feeling radiating off of everyone.

We all sat down in the seats surrounding the room and the desk that Carlisle occupied.

"Where to begin, where to begin?" I asked out loud. I looked at Alice and saw her encouraging smile. I then turned to Edward and saw the curiosity burning in his eyes.

"Well, I suppose I should begin at where you left me with Alice." I knew that somewhere in my explanation Edward's face would grow grim and he would feel sorry about something and blame himself when really there was nothing he could do about it, so I was ready when his face conformed into the look of pure guilt and resign.

"Don't worry, there was nothing you could have done. And anyways I would not want for you all to have been sent to jail just because of me. That would have been horrible. But anyways, after you left I kind of came back to life. I died and everything but when I got there I was thrown into this all white room. I was shocked to say the least." Edward's face was of complete curiosity at my story. Although I did not want to look away from him, I did to see Carlisle's expression as well.

His expression was along the same lines as Edward. Both had raised eyebrows that left an unfamiliar line across their foreheads that would never be permanent. There eyes held questions that hoped could be answered.

"Then, someone started talking to me. They said that I had a choice to make. They said that they had never seen such love as the love between Edward and I. They said I had to choose," I looked back at Edward then, smiling wide with happiness. "I had to choose between Heaven or to live forever with Edward. The only catch was that I had to share our love with the people of earth. To give meaning to life." As I spoke I saw two conflicting emotions playing through Edwards eyes. First there was sorrow, sorrow for my soul and sorrow for what I had to ender just to stay with him. The other was happiness, happiness that he was able to see me, to hold me, to tell me he loves me and I would be able to reciprocate the words and feelings.

"Obviously I choose Edward, What is the point of heaven without my angel?" Edward's hand tightened around mine and we stared into each other's eyes. I had to remember we were not alone then, that there were others in the room, others in the world, not only us. I shook my head and forced my eyes reluctantly to look to Carlisle, my new father.

I hadn't thought of that. The loss of one family for another. I suddenly felt sorrow that I would have to live through the death of everyone I ever met dying around me. I hadn't had much time with Charlie, but what I did have was more then I could have wished for. In a few days I would never be able to see him again. We would probably have to relocate. Surely Edward would be in trouble here with the law. My body would never be found. I would be the mysterious girl of Forks whom died and body vanished. We would have to leave. There was nothing else we could do.

As I saw Carlisle's face I realized that things would be ok. It would be heard, and things would happen that simply would test us, but in the end would make us stronger. Carlisle's loving and calm expression gave me a reassurance of this.

"Well, we are glad. We always knew you would be a part of the family, and here you are. So I do assume that your power is mind reading?" he raised an eyebrow with obvious curiosity.

"Actually," I began not really knowing what to say or call my power. "I believe I have the power to take on anyone's power through the contact of skin. I could see visions after I touched Alice's skin. I was the ultimate hunter when Victoria attacked I-" I was going to finish when suddenly Edward was in my face.

"WHAT?!" He was checking me for bumps and bruises when I started laughing. "When did this happen, I swear she will pay. Did she hurt you?"

"Not much." I answered cryptically. "And I do not think that revenge will be necessary." I added with a slight smile. Happy to finally be rid of the being that haunted my dreams.

Edward looked at me curiously and then to Alice. I saw her replay the day in the forest when I destroyed Victoria once and for all. It was a small satisfaction though. I was officially a killer and I didn't really know how I felt about that.

Edward looked back over to me when Alice finished the memory. His eyes held an ancient sorrow for having seen me that way. Maybe he wouldn't love me anymore now that he knows I'm a murderer. Why would he want to stay with someone who could so brutally destroy another being; no matter how awful said being was. I began to worry about the thought of Edward leaving me. For some reason I knew that if that happened I wouldn't be able to live through it.

He saw something in my eyes to hint as to what I was thinking and spoke to clarify his look before I could ask.

"No, Bella, I am not disgusted at you, I am disgusted at myself and at Victoria and the fact that you had to go through that alone." I was so relieved to hear he wasn't disgusted with me that I nearly leapt into his arms. I settled for a warm smile instead.

"Well I wasn't really alone. Alice was with me the whole time." I told him through my smile.

With the mention of her name Edward turned on his sister to question her motives and actions. I heard the questions running through his head before he even spoke them so that I could take care of them before he asked her.

"Edward, she did what she had to. She knew I wanted to be one of you, she went against your will because she knew it was what you really wanted too. She loves us Edward and she only wants us to be happy. She wants to be able to see us smiling together for eternity." I answered all of his questions that were the most dire. As I spoke his eyes began to grow more, and more, gentle, and as they sank in he turned to his sister.

Alice held her breath waiting for what ever he was going to throw at her, but he surprised us all when he suddenly flung his arms around her and pulled her into a bone crushing hug. We all sat there stunned, even Alice, the Vision seer, was surprised by his actions. Soon she relaxed and returned the hug. We all were smirking as they pulled away from each other. Edward turned to me with a new kind of happiness in his eyes.

"So this is all real? You're here forever?" he asked excitedly.

I nodded yes and he was instantly by my side. No sooner did I realize he was in front of me were his lips on mine. I was surprised to say the least, but I soon fell into the embrace and hugged him close to me. When we pulled away I remembered that Alice and Carlisle were still in the room, but when I looked around the room I saw that they were no longer there.

"Where…?"

Edward answered my incomplete question, "Giving us some privacy. Come on let's go back up to my room." Edward took my hand and walked out of Carlisle's study and up the stairs, never once taking his eyes off me. We walked into his room and suddenly I was flung onto Edward's couch. And as he leaned into me I thought _I could do this for eternity. I could stay here for eternity._

* * *

_So... That's is perty much it... I was thinking of a sequel.. but I've already started another story (Which so far is a lot of plot fun!) so maybe when I am done with that one (or bored with it) then I will start up a sequel. I have a few plots in mind... But no worries, we have the epilogue still and I will decide by then if I want to continue... I hope you all enjoyed! _


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